unbelievable

Last day went on darkydarkgloomyvenomous. I remembered what a Course teacher shared some time ago – her husband had been in a very dark mood for months, and Ken had told her to not worry, her husband (also a student) was only processing. I often forget that Ken too is a therapist as I am -and  as  a therapist I know about processing, but have troubles finding out when to process and when to forgive – can I do both? at the same time?

What I did yesterday was accept the darkness, did not try to forgive-it-away, drank two glasses of good red wine and made myself banana-curry-melted cheese-sandwiches ( a no-no for the stomach,) and saw Juno, a marvelous zany and wonderful movie. In short,I indulged in feeling lousy and justified feeling unfairly treated and RIGHT.

This night and morning the intense crazy thoughts were not present – and I was met by DonnaD’s loving comment. It felt like a healing balm.

Another  wonderful surprise this afternoon – I followed a friend’s advise: just share with Jesus the negative feeling with one word – like ” angry, Jesus!” I did, and experienced my energy-field (contracted, dense, murky) expanding and becoming filled with light.

I realize …the reason why it works, is that I believe stuff only works one time with me. (That is an unbelievable dorky belief who has lived up to itself, I have to say.) Maybe – just maybe – I could stop believing that the belief is truth, and realize it is only something I have believed in.

And really seeing how powerful my beliefs are.

And I will find a little YouTube video for this post. ..about finding the beauty in the beast, or seeing Christ in our brothers –

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Please note that nothing written here is intended as medical advice. Readers who think that they need help with a physical or psychological condition are advised to seek a qualified opinion.

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