awakening visited

For some months now, the sense of skinlessness and raw vulnerability/anxiety has escalated. It «looks» like it is an attack – forces or aspects in my mind that I have separated from and called bad, who now push back. This is how it seems to me. After dealing with these forces now during the last 30 years in various ways, I realize that what I am called to do, is include them. Not protect myself from them, not judge them, calling them demonic or evil or insane, nor getting healers to remove them – been there, done that throughout the years, depending on how acutely disturbing they are, and how threatened I have felt by them.

Last night, a miracle happened. I found myself speaking to them, telling them that I was so sorry for the pain and horror they felt that made them lash out like this. The very second I did not defend against them but loved them, opened my heart for them, welcomed them, a beautiful release happened. And at some time I realized that I was the decision maker, and that this was my choice – to meet all of this with love.

I was awake.

I am lying now in a great calm, blessing it all, and seeing that what seemed to be dark and attacking only needed love. There is no need to analyze where it comes from – and if it belongs to «me» or is picked up – it is all here now, as an opportunity to welcome with love.

The energies that have moved around in the body before – like  scared wolfs being hunted by a  hateful hunter – now they are quiet. There is such a sweetness and innocence about this – a simplicity. Grace.

After a while I notice that I am starting to merge with the fear/attack/wolves -and hunter again. I am repeating the process of saying yes, of noticing ego and including – and as I repeat this process I am becoming more and more aware that this is not about healing anything – it is all about me becoming aware that I am That which chooses, second to second, to either receive with love whatever is there, or defend and attack and make dark.I am calling us Home .

I see an image: a big circle of beings, sitting around a sacred fire – and I am welcoming them all. Their forms or costumes fall off when they take their place, they are all the Son of God.

The excruciating pain the last months comes from excluding my totality – which I have judged and projected into these fear-and-attack-wolves. Excluding is a word I like more than separating: it describes the force in the separation, the pain in the holding on to the me/them-perception. When I include them, they stop existing as «them.»

There are no attackers – there is only a belief that there are attackers. There are no dark forces – there is a belief that there is dark forces.. They are illusions only, and I can empower them with my beliefs or dissolving them with my inclusion.

And: there is no pain in the neck or anywhere now – there can only be a belief that there is.

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Please note that nothing written here is intended as medical advice. Readers who think that they need help with a physical or psychological condition are advised to seek a qualified opinion.

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