floating uphill

Yesterday was one of the worst days in a long time. Feel filled with toxic waste in my head, and as always when i feel this way, the PC mirrors it by going ballistic, giving  messages that make no sense at all – threats of dangers that does not exist, and how about this: “x cannot open this page” and it immediately opens –

and then my microphone does not work. I cannot connect with friends at Skype. I sink into a very old story about not being able to connect with loved ones with words, my voice not allowed.

In this nightmarish situation my doorbell rings, and there’s my daughter and her beau with a BIG present for my coming birthday. It turns out to be a lawnmower that floats on the lawn, so it is so very easy to maneuver  – and at last I can move the lawn (more truthful: the weeds) in my backyard, which have been too hard to do with my mechanical old mower.

They tell me this is a used mower, popular model, and they have shined it up and fixed a tar in it  – my heart fills with tenderness for them, reading their wishes on the birthday card: “with the hope that life will float more easy – we hope that this may lighten the uphills for you”

And Filo suggests that we test-run it, and that may be the first time a lawnmower is test-run inside a living room. It made a lot of noise – but it really floated.

Her are some thoughts by Ken:

Don’t think you can’t learn this course. Just don’t judge. You are not powerless. But you don’t know you are a mind because you have convinced yourself that you are not your Self.
I chose the ego as my teacher and that’s why I’m in conflict. That’s just where you are. I will forgive and this will disappear. I chose my ego, and that is why I’m upset, it is my hot button. So what? That’s okay, the mistake is judging myself. I forgot to laugh at the tiny mad idea.

1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. winnie
    Oct 22, 2010 @ 09:23:04

    What a lovely story ! In the midst of feeling cut of and stuck, a thoughtful daughter turns up with the perfect worldy gift and symbolic reminder that you dont have to work at this……big hugs to you darlin and i hope you having a wonderful time today xoxoxoox

    Reply

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Please note that nothing written here is intended as medical advice. Readers who think that they need help with a physical or psychological condition are advised to seek a qualified opinion.

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