The Closing of the Gap

After a couple of really heavy high-strung nights, where the energy-level feels like steel plates pushing in everywhere, it dawns on me to ask for help again. When I get out of bed 04 am, I sense that there is an inflammation in the lower back. I know this symptom well – it is something that tells me that I am frail and helpless and can be attacked – it is a memory. So I forgive the memory, ask for help, opening the Course randomly:

Chapter 29.
I. The Closing of the Gap

T-29.II.8. Sickness is a demand the body be a thing that it is not. 2 Its nothingness is guarantee that it can not be sick. 3 In your demand that it be more than this lies the idea of sickness. 4 For it asks that God be less than all He really is. 5 What, then, becomes of you, for it is you of whom the sacrifice is asked? 6 For He is told that part of Him belongs to Him no longer. 7 He must sacrifice your self, and in His sacrifice are you made more and He is lessened by the loss of you. 8 And what is gone from Him becomes your god, protecting you from being part of Him.

Wow. I never saw this before.My heart makes some wild beats and I feel sick. I sense a wish to close this gap, to not need it any longer to project a me/somebody into. It is ridiculous – and the moment I realize this, the realization is gone again.

Later in the day the stiffness and inflammatory feeling in the lower back is getting stronger. I Skype my good friend Leo who balances something in my chakras, and I feel 90% better. Ego tells me immediately I should not have done that, so I guess that was a good thing to do – I accepted help from somebody I could immediately accept as helper.

It feels good now, to just be with it, when the pain and inflammation does not feel so acute any longer. I am sweating, and am able to just soften around all of this: no resistance now.

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Please note that nothing written here is intended as medical advice. Readers who think that they need help with a physical or psychological condition are advised to seek a qualified opinion.

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