I am not guilty

At the shrink today I became aware HOW guilty I feel – and how this guilty-identity actually is looking for opportunities to feel its guilt, so it can think that it is real. My bud Myron once said it like this: “I create a role and then I fill my life with the proof that it is true, and everything I need to guarantee the continuation of my story.”

So – I am not my story. I am also aware that this “role” I think I am only can be healed by being given to the H.S. –  And it dawned to me today in my session that I am not guilty. It was a moment of complete strength and power when I knew that – and i became aware of how the old role looks for guilt everywhere, so she can pick it up and take it on.

The rest of the morning was used in the town where I was to sense the impulse to take on guilt, and just remind myself “I am not guilt.” Each time the same sensation of strength and truth.

I have been choosing guilt each time I have NOT said this – just to reinforce an old identity, and I don’t want to do it any longer.

***

Later in the evening…

…that sentence, “I am not guilt” is insistently repeating itself each time something in me goes into guilt and believes it. I can’t stop it now. And something sweet happened: I was looking at some  Oscar-commentators, and my first reaction was to judge them as superficial, with a smirk ( this “I” was so much deeper, see) when that little sentence came again and I suddenly noticed the beauty of those commentators.

It felt like the gentlest blessing

and I am so grateful

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Please note that nothing written here is intended as medical advice. Readers who think that they need help with a physical or psychological condition are advised to seek a qualified opinion.

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