sleeping and loving it:-)

– well,  this goes for sleeping in the night without any pill at all. The circadian rhythm is truly changing – I slept and had a long dream before I woke up at 1 am! I usually fall asleep about  3-4 am, so this is big for me.And then I had several sleep-periods with nice dreams  after that. Woke up at 9 o’clock, amazing.

I always love to read rev.Myron Jones’ daily blog through the Course-notebook. This resonated  with me today – it gave me such a feeling of grateful release: it is OUR story, not “mine” alone.

“Often now I see a thought that needs to be forgiven and I am happy I noticed it. Its more like my job is to inspect this gorgeous tapestry and to notice if I see any errors in the weave. If I do then I “forgive” them or undo them. What a happy outcome that is! Did I make the error, or was it someone else? The question doesn’t make sense. There is only one “body of Christ” so how can I separate out a part of that body and accuse it of error, and why would I?

When it seems that forgiveness has become a burden again, it is because I have become closely identified with the error I found. When I am in my right mind, it feels more like I am watching an interesting movie. My focus seems to be on a particular character. However, if I become so involved with that character that I forget it’s a movie and start to see myself as her, then I start to see her errors as mine, and as real because now I believe the story is real.

This is when guilt becomes associated with finding the error and naturally I am reluctant to admit to something that makes me feel guilty. The conflict of wanting to heal all errors and at the same time, not wanting to find an error that makes me feel guilty, is wearying. I’m glad that I am learning detachment from the story of Myron. As observer of the story rather than participant in the story, forgiveness is a much happier and easier job, and one I delight in. When I am this clear it all seems so simple and straight forward. It is only when I lose my detachment and feel like the illusion is real and has real effects that I become confused about forgiveness.

1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. a*
    Mar 26, 2011 @ 22:00:03

    dear Nina –
    Came to your blog after a long time. And nice to catch up and read through the entries since my last visit. I loved this one (and several other ones too), can you point me to where I can find Rev Myron’s blog. The excerpt above spoke to me, and i think i should read some more of the Rev’s writings.

    See you soon again,


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