nothing can take the peace of God away from me

After yet a nightmare, my body is great pain, I inadvertently turn on the mini-recorder I have in bed, and hear the following, recorded I don’t know when:

Seeing the old story – and believing in it – equates hell. Sensing the crushing energy in your chest – and not believing the story behind it/about it – you can smile at it. Saying yes with Jesus – or resisting with the ego – depends on the meaning you are giving this nightmare. Resisting it means that you are giving it the meaning of being evil and dangerous and that it is more powerful than you – and then it is so for you, according to your belief. .Entertain the idea – how would it be to say yes to this – and where this YES would come from.

Suddenly I see: the pain, the feeling of great fear and danger – it does not have to go away for me to be safe.It can be exactly as it is – it does not have the power to take the connection to God away. I can be free WITH the stress going on – just forgiving it.  I have thought that all these signs of pain and fear were proof that I was doing the Course wrong – so that each time I felt a pain, I subconsciously attacked myself of not being a good enough student. Now I realize that I always have given it the meaning it has for me – danger/fear/evil/I am lost. And I have only given it this meaning because I  subconsciously believed that God wants to punish me. I read this recently in a lesson and it was as written in fire for me. I spend much time forgiving myself for believing that – really meaning it.

It is only my belief in the ego-version of me that has kept it going – and my insistence that it shouldn’t be this way, keeps it here.

I need to see this again and again now – pains and nightmares does not have to go away for me to have peace with God.  It is just energy – and there is no Self in that energy, so I do not need to take it serious.

It seems that this must be a core-belief in the ego thought system – that God wants me to suffer because of what I am. This is such a vital piece in my healing – seeing what I have believed ( and that I am wrong.)

Right now -( this is written from my recorder) I see the big head of Minotaurus. He stands in the center of the labyrinth, waiting for people to kill. He is just one of those images/symbol/Myths I have believed in as real – and I don’t give him the power to threaten me any more.

Right now I know that fear and pain is not the barometer of things going bad.


I am wondering why I still feel so much discomfort and energies in my body, and Blue says, “this is a level of consciousness where you say yes to the pain, knowing it has no power to hurt you.Wanting to push it away to have proof you have done it right, is ego. God is here, because God is in your mind.This is not your end station.”




 

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Please note that nothing written here is intended as medical advice. Readers who think that they need help with a physical or psychological condition are advised to seek a qualified opinion.

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