Let me be still and listen to the truth

This morning, noticing judgments arising – there was another Voice present at the same time: Maybe you don’t need the judgments. And I didn’t. Reading the paper, judgments came back – but I did not have to attach to them. Wonderful freeing feeling.

I saw a video with Stephen and Ondrea Levine yesterday. The Levine’s experience from their work with the dying is that pauses are a vital part of the spiritual practice. We DO take on other people’s pain when we work deeply, they say – and that is OK, because when we do not resist it, it releases.  I noticed a big space within me opening up: I now SEE that pauses are vital and healing, and not a waste of time. Maybe you don’t need that belief any longer

Instead of identifying with the chaos of the world, I now manage to sit still and be with it – knowing that I do not need to think that “it” is “me” any longer. I do need to make space for these pauses, though – and to start to consciously remind myself that THIS is spiritual work: not all the reading.

Just sitting –  noticing that now I am in a sacred pause, and so let go of everything. It is immensely relaxing.

I open today’s lesson:

Lesson 106:

W-pI.106.1. If you will lay aside the ego’s voice, however loudly it may seem to call, if you will not accept its petty gifts that give you nothing that you really want; if you will listen with an open mind, that has not told you what salvation is; then you will hear the mighty Voice of truth, quiet in power, strong in stillness, and completely certain in Its messages.

How sweet to notice that I am already working on this theme. To see how I subconsciously have known it – and am already dipping into the them, even before refreshing the lesson. It is very comforting to know that on some level I know each and every lesson already.

*

I am toning in the morning – huge pains in the right side of my body.  “Maybe I don’t need this any longer.” I hear another voice telling me that it needs my body for its life-force not to disappear into evil. These pains in the right side of the body is a way “it” occupies my body. – I recognize this part as a former incarnation-“me” – and I see that I identified with a belief, made in fear. And that is what we did, as the Son of God.This identification with intense fear does not come from truth, it is just a belief with no truth in it. I do not need any longer to feed it with my belief in it. I have made this fear real and called it me. It is just imagination and I let it go. I forgive myself for wanting to be guilty.

I suddenly know, while toning, that the trauma that caused me to loose my singing voice when I was 25, has been of such magnitude that just trying to sing hurt so much that I gave it up. That’s why I spaced out each time I tried to work with the voice later. Literally disappeared from the body.

As soon as this insight arises, my heart starts to beat ferociously and tears are pouring.I want to  sit kindly with it and do not believe it is real: just an old trauma, and me having enough heart for it to come up now- to find all the beliefs I have about this and forgiving them. I am looking forward to it, and something moves softly inside, trusting me not to push it back again. I do not need to take it seriously – but meeting it with Love is a decision.

Reading my favorite comics to breakfast: Stephen Pastis “Pearls before Swine.”

Pig and Rat sits beside each other on bar-stools with a cup of tea. Rat tells his house-mate and friend Pig: “All my problems have to do with the people I know. I need to get rid of these problems.” Pig turns his friendly face to Rat and asks, “Do you have any ideas?” and Rat pushes Pig off the  bar-stool. Rat looks at Pig on the floor and says, “that’s all I have for now.”

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Please note that nothing written here is intended as medical advice. Readers who think that they need help with a physical or psychological condition are advised to seek a qualified opinion.

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