shower session

I call upon God’s name and my own

Ego has always wondered what the RIGHT name for God is, and how irritating Jesus is when he tells us to call upon God’s name and fails to give it to us.

Today is different. Of course God’s name can not be a word, a constellation of sounds, something that is different from other sounds – all of that belong to the world of illusion. What I could do with this lesson today was to sit quiet and intend to invoke this Holy Name, without having any idea of what it was.

So I do that – and after ten seconds an infernal noise starts right outside my window. After some minutes I feel irritation and goes to watch what the sound is. It is my neighbor – always helpful with moving the lawn on the free area, cutting my hedges and other stuff. “He is my helper” it says in my head. As soon as I stop judging the sound, he turns the mover off. It is a big smile inside me, and I go back to calling His name. It feels like moving within a living force of Love. Maybe that is what my neighbor was doing too. All I need is to be willing to call on What belongs to Me, giving up any concept of what That is and how it is experienced.

Then I have one of many shower-healings. Something inside starts saying: ” This is not my body. Nina is not my name. This is not my house. Mil is not my daughter.These thoughts are not my thoughts. These breasts are not my breasts. “My” story is not my story.This is not my voice. This is not my pain. The stiffness in the neck is not my stiffness. The sleeplessness is not my sleeplessness. This urge for food/newspaper/chocolate is not my urge.

Oh my what a freedom. It is not my freedom. It just is. It just lets go of all that serious business of attaching my story to it all.

And the stiffness in the neck is melting

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Please note that nothing written here is intended as medical advice. Readers who think that they need help with a physical or psychological condition are advised to seek a qualified opinion.

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