choosing again

Went to town today, to get a groupon-hairdresser-session. I was feeling sick, my stomach felt weird,something felt so off.

At the hairdresser, nobody was there. Instantly the “being betrayed and forsaken-stories” sprang up in my mind.They had even given me a wrong address!! Sher luck that i saw the sign of the salon.

As I felt sicker and sicker and at the same time noticed the simultaneous  misogynist thoughts of the hairdresser and the saloon, there was a clear choice inside to not make an enemy of that brother. I don’t want anyone to be guilty. I want to forgive all the projections I have made.
The feelings of sickness that whole morning dissipated some. The hairdresser came – smiled – was 5 minutes late. I expected an apology, which did not come. I realized that I could self-righteously wallow in blame – and simultaneously  there was the recognition that the one that needed an apology, was the ego.

So I chose against the ego again – and now, all the rest of bad feelings and sickness disappeared.

Had I not have this situation happen to me today, I would have no idea what the sickness and sleeplessness this night was all about. Now I know: it is this false identity who expects the worst, is paranoid, and looks to be dumped upon.

I do not want or need those thoughts any longer.I choose against them.

When I let go of the need of that apology and all my perceptions,I relaxed with the sweetest being – and she gave me a scalp-massage that is the best I ever had.

It turned out that the address was a mixture of two informations – not their fault at all.

The cut is not bad either 🙂

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Please note that nothing written here is intended as medical advice. Readers who think that they need help with a physical or psychological condition are advised to seek a qualified opinion.

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