forgiving the therapist-role

Last night, the same dreadful cramps started,as soon as I laid the head on the pillow. I made a choice to let go of needing suffering, and the whole story that led up to me believing it was valuable. I saw the cramp-thoughts of believing in “I have to fill myself with suffering in order to block my mind to Love” – which in ego’s perception was the avenger-god out to get me. I denied the reality of those thoughts, and in very short time the cramps let go, and a wonderful warmth filled the former cramped limbs. I fell asleep.

Dream: I have a brand new car! I was following my father, driving in front of me – we were going home.After a while I decided not to follow the false self/father, and took  another road. My new car had something wrong with its power, going upwards – I had to pedal it, like a bike. The ego was still driving.

Soon I arrived at a center for creativity. I met two loving fun girls who showed me their drawing of each other – very sensitive and accurate – so delicate – and we discovered that we had many friends in common. They invited me to sleep over! And little sister thanked no, she wanted to go in hiding again, “she had to go home”..meaning to her parents…

When I woke up, I asked Blue to help me find out what I am clinging to, that make me use my new vehicle as a bicycle and do all the “driving” myself. I instantly see that I am clinging to the therapist-role. No wonder: it gives me respect and status ( “i” am a “supervisor” of other therapists) and I am good at what I do: I get lots of love and gratitude – and i have fun doing it.) No wonder I love this role.

I share this fear with Blue. She says:

Darling – you would get My Voice instead of your therapist’s voice. No effort, and nothing lost. Peace gained.

 

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Please note that nothing written here is intended as medical advice. Readers who think that they need help with a physical or psychological condition are advised to seek a qualified opinion.

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