the safe womb is waiting

To yesterday’s blog:I get some dream symbols from yesterday: the nasty lady from Hungary does really come from Hunger – which means ego. I am glad I sent her back there! My dance-partner is Jesus: he is from the National Cooperation: that is His attitude.

The puppet master is me – decision maker – in the act of knowing it is a play, and that he/I can choose to play with God or with ego. Here he/me has chosen to play with God.

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(some)One is trying to show me I am dreaming… I ask Blue each night to help me see that I am dreaming, and He does -and I laugh at His attempt this night (which i did not get.)

Dream:

I was visiting some of the first incarnations as human. I witnessed the progress of life for thousands of years. Thank God it is not too late to forgive the belief in time!!!

Then Blue as trickster enters. I am invited to a party in REALLY old days – and at the entrance, Blue has placed:

A plastic transparent big teacup, filled with caffelatte – it has even layers of coffee/latte/coffee/latte/coffee/latte. Not so very typical for the almost ice-age, but dream-Nina accepts everything gracefully. I enter the party-room, and since this is very old days, all we will eat is rice and lentils. BUT: the rice and lentils come in contemporary bags with print. I am presented with being present in two “ages” simultaneously.

I forgive my belief in time as real.

The next dream has led to transformation this day.

I am dreaming about being with my daughter, and I am using her as a receiver of huge anger. I am making her the target of it, it grows and grows – until I, in the dream, deeply apologize for dumping on her, and tell her that she is innocent. It is accepted.

When I wake up, she calls me to tell me she has got a cold and cannot meet me for our trip to an exhibition: this is an art-installation, a huge cave made of hay-balls, and it gives people the feeling of being inside a safe womb. I tell her I love her.

When I have put on the phone, I sense the old story raising its head: She did not ask me what I want for my birthday present! Blue instantly nudges me and asks me to allow that feeling all the way down. It is fear of not being loved – then fear of being guilty – and then there’s rage. It feels like opening a faucet: the old fear and rage and hatred from childhood is fully accepted and allowed, and it pours and pours and pours. It is completely neutral – just energy, before attached to, before believed to be me and real.

Now – great calm. No irritation in the body. So what if she forgets. And this safe-womb-experience is waiting for us: it is open more than two more months.

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Please note that nothing written here is intended as medical advice. Readers who think that they need help with a physical or psychological condition are advised to seek a qualified opinion.

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