cramps and swans

There is something escalating in the mind lately, the energy feels crazy. My legs feel like pillars of stuffed insanity, there are cramps everywhere. After 5-6 hours I see a crowd – a multitude – of people screaming in agony – I can’t hear a sound, but the scream is enormous, and the insanity in the image/collective memory/ is complete.I seem to be in touch with the original fear in the separation-thought.

If these thoughts are real, then God is not real. I am abusing the Son of God’s tremendous power to believe in what is not real. I am starting to see that it is illusion. I truly deny the reality of these thoughts.

But I still have the big cry reverberating in my ears.

A woman calls my answering machine. It answers with a tremendous scream – just different sounds on top of each others, but the energy scares me deeply. I am telling”that something “inside who is screaming that I hear it. I drop any judgments about it. I think I am cramping the energy by analyzing it /controlling it/judging it. I forgive it.

I take the bus to the nearest town. In the river running through the town I count 44 white swans. It is a surreal beautiful scenery

 

 

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Please note that nothing written here is intended as medical advice. Readers who think that they need help with a physical or psychological condition are advised to seek a qualified opinion.

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