finding the blessed route

(The blessed route: see Mona’s loving comment to last post)

Same cramps and crap starts in the morning. And I remember what I recently read in the Course in Miracles Text some mornings ago:

T-13.VI.4. Time can release as well as imprison, depending on whose interpretation of it you use. 2 Past, present and future are not continuous, unless you force continuity on them. 3 You can perceive them as continuous, and make them so for you. 4 But do not be deceived, and then believe that this is how it is. 5 For to believe reality is what you would have it be according to your use for it is delusional. 6 You would destroy time’s continuity by breaking it into past, present and future for your own purposes. 7 You would anticipate the future on the basis of your past experience, and plan for it accordingly. 8 Yet by doing so you are aligning past and future, and not allowing the miracle, which could intervene between them, to free you to be born again.

 I see I am relating to these cramps from a past perceptive lens. I choose instead the Miracle, and allow It to set me free.

A free space opens around it. I ask Blue to guide me through this, and hear: ” Do you agree that it is a dream?” He is referring to a discussion with a friend recently where I insisted to be met where I was -still strongly identified with the story of having been a baby subjected to tortured abuse from parents in a state of insanity and dissociation. I reminded her about what Jesus calls these maneuvers, where Course-students try to be “helpful” and for example tell grieving people ” you don’t  need to grieve, this is just an illusion.” This is called “level-confusion” in Course-language – where we ignore where we/ the sufferer are, and try to get them where we think they “should”be. Jesus calls this “a particularly unworthy denial.”

And now – in the early hours of the Sunday morning, I KNOW that this story is a dream and that I, as decision-making mind, am dreaming it.

Why would I take her suggestion as an attack if I knew I had been dreaming all of it up?

Why indeed?

The cramped energy of holding on the story  as “me – my true identity” – is very strong.And maybe-just maybe -this cramp-energy is really Love in Its pure form, defended against? This moment, I have no problem whatever with allowing “the cramps” to be here – and allowing it to dissolve, if it needs to.

There is a sensation of something huge and dense cloud like, softly and delicately transforming itself, now that the label has been taken off “the cramps:” inside it is a cool crispness. There is an insight coming from the muscles and bones: ” we can let go a bit.”  I sense the imprint in the back and heart-area of the “iron-rod” I felt was pushed right through me when I went to the ER  – this time I don’t react to it with fear and “me”-identity – it’s just “something.” I choose the Miracle to deal with it any way it chooses.

The strong cramps are now transformed into strong buzzing energy in the legs and neck. – – –

Now it comes back, as cramps in the arms – as soon as I speak this, it melts – – –  it moves into the old butt-home – and I realize that the body is an illusion too, and I hold on to it with giving power to the labels: butt, cramp, me. How easy it is to dissolve into the dream and believing it is real. I see that as long as I am in the witnessing mode – not taking the idea of separation serious – it really dissolves

1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Barbara
    Jan 29, 2012 @ 16:31:41

    Love your thoughts!

    Reply

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Please note that nothing written here is intended as medical advice. Readers who think that they need help with a physical or psychological condition are advised to seek a qualified opinion.

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