Being blessed with gifts

Got a phone-call today by Kit. She had just got a phone from a possible new client – and the only time he could take it, was in Kits and mine be-weekly sharing session.

She shared the fear of saying no to prospective clients – she heard an inner voice speaking about “how important” it is to say yes and fill the list and all those therapist- beliefs. I was reminded about the time where I thought it was much more important to say yes to clients wishes that listening to my body and mind – and I drove myself down into burnout and near-death. I kid you not. There was a time where I pushed myself to go to a seminar in Switzerland for my education, where I felt like squeezed to death from demands for all the things I “had to” do – and a big trailer pushed my taxi slowly closer to a stone wall. I knew that I HAD TO return home, or be crushed – and one millimeter before we crashed I yelled “ I have to turn around!” In the same second the trailer moved away.

I think I have recently told this story on the blog -but I search for it, and cannot find it.

What threatened to crush me was the belief that “I have to override myself(sic) in order to fill other peoples’ (overwhelming) demands in order to be called a good therapist.” In other words, a strong fear based belief.

This “It is important”-belief came from fear – and is therefore not true.

I shared with Kit how several excellent businessmen had the same lesson in therapy with me: they all got clients with demands they thought they could not say no to. And each time they themselves had a session with me, a new client called – or an old one had an urgent need that always had to come before their  taking care of their own needs.

I told them that this would go on until they chose to honor their own need for time  and nourishment  – in this case, their session with me. 3 men discovered that when they really chose to not override their session there were no other requests from clients for this particular time. The turnaround came when they MEANT IT with all their heart: “My need for growth is as important as others.”

With Kit, I now discovered that I too had – without really noticing it – made another appointment at our usual date. I found a belief/voice that yelled: “I KNOW it was the appointment -time with Kit, BUTBUTBUT  I  NEEEEDED this other theater-matinee so much…if I did not choose it, I would fall apart!”

What??

I came from the same automatic fear as Kit: telling myself the same stories about how important it was to do that other appointment instead of our great work together. And the voice saying that came from fear, and was NOT right.

We both saw that if she had said no to the belief that getting a new client was more important than our work together  trusting that all was well, she would have had other client-requests: they would reflect her choice for space ,and that her time for herself was as valuable.

And we saw that it was not about having to say no to clients – it was about which space we were coming from: love and trust – or fear/ego/believing in demands.

It felt like sitting in a shower of cleansing light as I saw that I had been stuck in this old sufferer-identity: “You will DIE if you miss that theater-matinée.” I was telling myself that ONLY that could fill the agonized child within. But when I believe her, I in no way can be open to what Love holds in front of me.

We saw how perfect this new client’s gift to Kit was:  to realize the importance of balance was immensely healing. And for me, the gift was to realize that my old suffering-identity had been trying to sabotage our relationship.All was perfectly set up for our growth and release from old fear patterns.

A little while after we hung up, Kit mailed me and told that three new clients had booked new sessions. It happened in the last minutes of our conversation.

I love the teachings of the Universe

2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Simply Begin
    Apr 19, 2012 @ 02:05:11

    “No belief is true and we are not our thoughts”- GOD/Universe 🙂
    With only compassionate intention,
    Kate/ I am

    Thank you I Am for the present moment. 🙂

    Reply

  2. Mona Gustafson Affinito
    Apr 19, 2012 @ 11:24:15

    This is such a powerful lesson, and so beautifully expressed.

    Reply

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Please note that nothing written here is intended as medical advice. Readers who think that they need help with a physical or psychological condition are advised to seek a qualified opinion.

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