The old dear guilt

Today I discovered a clear link between bad conscience and giving. Thinking about the beggars in town – how often I have given them money out of guilty conscience – and how I  have a strong connection between the feeling of guilt when I see them and the impulse to give. How clear it is now: I have been giving out of guilt, not freely from the heart. I have allowed the guilt-feelings to decide when to give – quite automatically.This automatic response expressed in  giving must surely be the case in therapy-relationships too. As soon as we feel the pang of guilt, we try to erase it by giving/being nice. By we I mean me.

It feels like a cleansing spring-rain to decide that I want to be aware next time the impulse to give comes. Does it come from the heart, with no attachments or agendas at all – or does it come from  guilt?


2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Mona Gustafson Affinito
    Apr 25, 2012 @ 15:24:46

    Great insight. But giving is useful, even if guilt is the basis. #1, the receiver still receives the blessing, and #2, the donor expiates some guilt. Even a less-than-perfect motive can produce good. Danger! the possibility of feeling guilty for giving out of guilt. Oops! That would compound the problem.


    • leelotchka44
      Apr 25, 2012 @ 17:13:23

      See, we don’t agree on that one – in my view, anything coming from guilt will not bless the receiver, because if it comes from guilt, the giver thinks she owes it to the receiver, which means that some resentment will cling to it.
      I want my gift to be completely free. The Course-forgiveness is different from the Christian form of forgiveness – and we all use the one which feels best, don’t we.


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Please note that nothing written here is intended as medical advice. Readers who think that they need help with a physical or psychological condition are advised to seek a qualified opinion.

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