problems solved: 5 bucks

I mean, what are we working so hard on – decades, somebody ( well, me) – this is as good a method is any – ūüôā

 

Blog Awards

Lately, some of the blogs I have been enjoying are receiving nominations for awards. I have also received a nomination: for The Sunshine Award.

I was nominated by the wonderful blogger “notesofashamanstudent”.

I learn so much from her ability to walk her talk, and to be straight and honest. Thank you for the nomination!

Here are the rules for the Sunshine Award:

This prize is awarded to ‚Äúbloggers who positively and creatively inspire others in the blogosphere‚ÄĚ. As an award winner, there are a few rules to follow:

  • Thank the person who gave this award¬†and write a post about it.
  • Answer the questions below.
  • Pass on the award to 10 fabulous¬†bloggers, link their blogs, and let them know you awarded them.
  • Blogs I nominate: ( I am going to nominate 3 only. Please forgive me: 10 stresses me out:-)
  • 1. Dharma comics
  • 2. Something beautiful
  • 3.Mirth and motivation
  • Ten Q&A‚Äôs about myself
    1. Favorite drink?  Water
    2. Favorite food?  vegtable soups with chicken, Charlottes Chocolate Icecream, and roast duck
    3. Age? I was never born and I cannot die :::giggles::::
    4. Favorite time of day?¬† about 6 am in the morning, or 12 in the night, or 4.45 at Thursdays when they send “Northern exposure” on TV
    5. Favorite time of year? fall/winter/spring, and some summer too
    6. Favorite animal?  cat
    7. Favorite movie?  Right now: The elegance of the hedgehog
    8. Favorite vacation?:  Egypt. Norway.
    9. Physical activity?:  dancing, walking and photographing

    10.¬†¬† Favorite thing?:¬† my Teddy ūüôā

The down-trodden path of the ego-walk

Skyping with Kit, I explore the “something” in me that feels and thinks that the old tortured identity is to be preferred to awakening. It has been made a connection, it seems – it is “known”, “familiar,” “me,” “how it IS” – the path is well-trodden.

A few days ago, I believed in what Barbara wrote: The “evidence” of pain is simply “False Evidence Appearing Real = Fear. I was in an enlightened state of mind¬† for about an hour or more. All was simple there – easy – free – joyful.

And then the “wham” comes, predictably¬† – back in ego-perception.

Seeing the connection, made in fear, means that it is dissolving.

 

 

Allowing

I had a telephone-session with a lady of 70 one week ago. She was sleepless and her eye-sight was rapidly deteriorating. I did the Sedona -method – asking her to notice what was present in her mind, and if she could just allow it – yes or no – and if resistance, if she could allow that – and if she could allow the Love that she is, to take care of it –

such sweetness became present, such peace and rest.

Today she came for her second session. She had been to her eye-doctor the day after our session, and he told her that her eye-sight had stabilized.

And she had slept well after that session.

 

 

New patterns

I like to see how the outward condition – the world – changes as my mind/the mind changes:

Today, Norway has no longer Christianity as its State-religion. Politics and religion have now been separated.

Today I met two of the beggars in town arm in arm, smiling and chatting, walking in the sun, taking a little break from begging – we looked at each other and smiled as to friends. “Beggars” taken out of their role.

And a new tunnel has almost been finished from the bus-station( a symbol of collective thought-traffic in the mind) right through the mountain to the other side – saving us all from A¬† L OT¬† OF¬† slowly stuck traffic in the rush hours. Now: better flow! Time saved on my way home ūüôā

Advise from Holy Spirit/ Barbara

Below is part of what I recently mailed my friend Barbara:

“…I think I need to get in touch with the part that has made this decision to split to “protect” me – and I have given this intention to H.S. again and again.
Still I sense this old “me” seems to control most of my reactions – like when seeing a doctor and going into panic.”

Here is the answer – the bold part is what stands out for me:

Why?¬† What purpose does it serve to “get in touch” with that which is not real?¬† Who is telling you to do this?

 

The Holy Spirit begins our healing on the level that we understand.  H.S. knows that we think we are a body so the H.S. patiently works with us to undo all that is associated with the body.  However, the ego will take this healing process and turn it into the never ending process.  We can continue to find every aspect of us that needs healing and painstakingly one by one deal with each issue.  Or we can simply see they are all the same.  When we have looked at one we have looked at them all.  They are all the same.  They are simply thoughts of separation. 

 

How long do¬†we want this process to last?¬† This is our choice.¬† The ego will tell us that we have to continue as long as there is any “evidence” that we are not healed: panic attacks, growling dogs, children turning white when they see us, bodily injuries, and pain.¬†But, again, all of this “evidence” is not real.¬† It is simply manifestation of thoughts in our head.¬† So why pay it any heed?¬† Why not instead acknowledge that we are wrong and the Holy Spirit is right when we say we are not healed and the Holy Spirit answers with I AM healed.

 

Holy Spirit, we come with open hearts and open minds to receive all that Spirit has for us. We immerse ourselves in Love. We drown in Love.  Our clouds of thoughts are turned to a purifying rain that washes away all doubts, fear, and confusion till only the Son remains. Our sole purpose is to remind all of who they are. There is no hesitation in our steps.  We have made Heaven our decision.  Holy Spirit, we run to You.
Love,

 

Barbara Griffin

*

I have heard this so many times. This time I believed it. Blue/H.S. was gently leading me through the night  each time a thought of fear/separation came, Blue said: False Evidence Appearing Real = FEAR. I was shown that I was wrong in all cases, and that none of it mattered. It was all coming from my dreaming mind outside time and space. I spent timeless periods in an understanding from a very high place  Рthings were utterly simple, seen with true perception. How could I ever have failed to see this simplicity? was the feeling.

When I woke up, I had seemingly left that level of no-me – but the world seems a little more transparent today, a little easier to look through.

And another cycle ended: I was attending an old wonderful actor’s last solo-performance: “What is an actor?” For Course students, that is a prudent question, since we believe that the world is a stage:-) And this actor is very dear to me: he was the Theater Director¬†the last 10 years when Kip and I had our productions there for a period of 20 years.

Today he recited among other things the monologue of Hamlet. A silent sacred space opened, the audience was woven into this NOW, and my tears were falling the whole time he spoke: it was the first time I really heard it and heard that it was written for me – the me that is all of us. The gratitude of receiving it was without end.

He did more wonders: this 85-year old played a monologue in his own dialect of a young hot-headed angry girl who wanted new shoes, and her father who questioned the necessity of it – it was done with such tenderness for both of them that tears come just by writing this.

 

 

 

 

A good conclusion

I get the realization that the mind/body is experiencing some of the pain I have repressed, connected to the traumas. I feel weak like a half dead kitten, and when I do not identify with it, I can just allow it to be there and give it over, being willing to change my mind about it – and remember that I am dreaming it.

Today too I got these so very nice signs/reflections of guilt in my mind: again on the bus. An inspector/policeman enters the bus to inspect if people have paid their fare. A large man, not from my country, and an inspector, comes from the back and start to argue right beside my seat. The customer becomes more and more loud-voiced, explaining his innocence, and the inspector does not give in.

AH! this is a reflection of something in my mind – a foreign part ( = unconscious – is protecting his innocence. AH! I AM innocent. I forgive this reflection – and the same moment, the two start to laugh and pat each others shoulders and the inspector says ” NOW I understand you” and the man calls him friend.

Something else seemed to have come to a conclusion today too. Two times¬† this spring I have tried to get a ticket for a great one-man-play at the theater, where¬† an excellent actor and dramatist¬† has made, and plays alone, a story called “Abraham’s children” , weaving a wonderful tapestry of the three big religions: Christianity, Judaism and Islam.

First time I tried to get a ticket, the last one was sold out to the person before me.

Next time I came to town, they had forgot to mail me that the actor was sick.

Today, they simply could not find my ticket. I felt very calm and a bit amused. Then the woman told me “well, I can just print it out” which she did.

I enjoyed the play tremendously – and loved hearing the different stories about Mary and the birth of Jesus that the Quran had. I also enjoyed the actor playing elephant and camel, and Jonah in the whale, in a fisherman-dialect from up north.

When I came home, The carpenter had repaired what was needed on the job. He got a bad back in front of me, and I introduced him to 2 minutes of EFT –¬† whereas his back felt good again.

Nice work Рand as said before, it feels like  a cycle has come to conclusion.

On a blessed track

Got the message “I got to have this hit in the ribs examined.” I decided for the ER. I blessed the day and expected the best.

Walking out the door, a new neighbor was loading her big car with 4 kids and a dog. She offered to drop me off on their way to holidays at the coast -and told me that she was a police-officer, and was happy to be of help if I needed it.

WHAT A SAFETY. And what a symbol:-)

In the E.R, it was quiet and calm. Very non-E.R-ish. After a short wait,I was taken in to a female doctor. I sensed panic coming up as she examined the ribs – it felt like a huge disaster was looming. She thought it might be a fracture, not broken ribs. I felt dizzy and spaced out – but did not get what was going on until after the examination when she typed all the info, and one of her apparatuses started sounding like an alarm. She looked at the little machine, shook her head and typed more – and the thingy piped again and again. So I understood that it was a signal for me, not for her: I was in a state of alarm. Aha! I immediately picked up the ACIM-notebook I had brought and opened it randomly: ” Remember that each time you have surgery/visit the doctor/ your subconscious mind may believe that you are going to die.” The thingy gave one more little peep – was there more? “Tell her.” I told her about my Post-Traumatic-stresssyndrome, that I needed that she explained some things very slow and meticulously, otherwise a part of my mind was in panic. When she started to answer all my questions, it became clear that my fear of a ruptured spleen was not likely justified: the spleen, she explained, was placed safely UNDER the ribs, not below it.

Instantly I felt a rush of freed energy, and I started to yawn.¬† I forgave the “something” in my mind that had SO strongly identified with the vicious attacks when I was small, and had been frozen in an ongoing alarm-memory of being in deadly danger.

No more alarm-signals now – neither from the inner nor the outer. My mind came back from the spaced out realms, I felt clear and tired and calm. The doc saw my transformation. I thanked her for the patience, we hugged and she wished me good luck luck luck ūüôā

As I walked to the bus, I was guided to open the notebook again:

“I wanted to get upset about something on the screen, (meaning in my world) and forgiveness is saying “Thank you for showing me this to my mind, thank you for letting me see this part of my mind. I am the dreamer, I am grateful that it is all a projection and falsity. I don’t have to change it, fix it, or strive or anything. That’s what the joy is.” David Hoffmeister.

Awake awhile

Awake awhile.
It does not have to be
Forever,
Right now.
One step upon the Sky’s soft skirt
Would be enough.
Hafiz,
Awake awhile.
Just one True moment of Love
Will last for days.
Rest all your elaborate plans and tactics
For Knowing Him,
For they are all just frozen spring buds
Far,
So far from Summer’s Divine Gold.
Awake, my dear.
Be kind to your sleeping heart.
Take it out into the vast fields of Light
And let it breathe.
Say,
“Love,
Give me back my wings.
Lift me,
Lift me nearer.”
Say to the sun and moon,
Say to our dear Friend,
“I will take You up now, Beloved,
On that wonderful Dance You promised.”
~ Hafiz ~
(I Heard God Laughing – Renderings of Hafiz — Daniel Ladinsky)

The crash: a wake-up call

With my latest client, I sense myself being sucked into a mental vortex of ego: she wants so much¬†to know what to DO in a situation ( she’s in love:-)

I know inside where we have reached a plateau – if I don’t tell her to stop and breathe at this place, something in me lies down and surrenders all her power to the client, just now being reduced to the nice and helpful and wise therapist-role. This is the pattern of surrender my inner child had: since there were no words acceptable to stop the crazy men, the pattern became to overcome it, to help the craziness by giving it what it wanted.

I see the pattern. I am not that: I am that which is aware of it.

But yesterday, I crashed. Hard. After the session, I went to the mall. I bought food and a bottle of wine. At the cashier, it dropped out of my hand and fell on my left big toe. I thought it was crushed.

When I looked at the toe at home, it was swollen and blue – and lots of blood had gathered at the place where the toe is attached to the sole of the foot. This place on the toe connects energy-wise to the neck-area: energy doesn’t flow freely there either.

So at home, I sat with the swollen toe in a bowl of cool water. I suddenly KNEW I HAD TO GET COMFORT and arose, walking to the phone. The foot was wet and slid on the floor – and I crashed with strong force into a chair. The chair hit me in the spleen/ribs – exactly the same place where I broke some ribs before.

I called my almost-daughter: my niece, who is also a physician and a psychiatrist. It brought down some terror, but I could hardly breathe, and the night was very awkward and sleepless.

Then – around¬† 4 am I was certain that my spleen had ruptured. I packed a bag for the hospital, sat down and read the Course, finally found a way to just look at the stuff as it presented itself in the moment and allow it to be like it was. I also found Stephen Levine’s wondrous book “Healing into life and death”

http://www.amazon.com/Healing-into-Death-Stephen-Levine/dp/0385262191

The kindness in Stephen’s soul was calling on my own. I found a way to just be with it with mercy, and gave it to the Holy Spirit, being willing to be wrong about every one of the reasons I found for my pain. I went back to bed, and the pain seemed to have eased about 50%. I fell asleep for a couple of hours – and when I woke up, the ruptured-sense of the spleen seemed to have healed.

I saw that I had to mail my client and be open about what she could expect from me, and what not. I am there not to be a wise adviser, but to help people let go of the perceived blocks to their Self.

(The Levines have a wonderful website with old and new videos uploaded. Ram Dass is present on one of them. It costs  ridiculous10 dollars a month to subscribe, and you have all the videos for free.

http://www.levinetalks.com

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Please note that nothing written here is intended as medical advice. Readers who think that they need help with a physical or psychological condition are advised to seek a qualified opinion.

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