The me is thinning out

Ilona Ciunaite allows me to post these quotes from her and Elena Nezhinsky’s free-e-book “Gateless Gatecrashers” – 21 interviews with people being guided to look at the self

I am reviewing  the notes I have made, each morning. The me is becoming thinned out.

Garcius: Still this feeling of “I” is here. Yes, a huge label of “me”.
Grrr, I want to get rid of that labelling…
Ilona: Labeling is happening and there is no one here to get rid of it. It’s happening and it will be as it always was.
It’s not the labeling that drops and not the feeling of beingness, but the belief that there is a “you” to which all this is happening.
And that drops because you see the truth that actually, in real life, there really isn’t. So investigate that first and foremost.
Life is. You aren’t.
Do the math.
Garsius: There is a feeling of apathy here. It’s like “yeah, yeah, that is true, but—whatever”. Sometimes moments of strange happiness come, then everything’s the same again.
Ilona: Good, good, it’s all happening. There is no “you” to see but seeing is happening. Is this true?
Garsius: Yes, it’s true—there is no “me” seeing, just a feeling that it is “I” who sees, seeing happening by itself.
Ilona: The feeling that it is “I” that sees—look there. There is a feeling of seeing + labelling. = “I see”. Look at that feeling again. Get on it, don’t be shy. Climb inside it, look at the world from that perspective.
Seeing is happening….

Ilona: How is everything looking today?
Garsius: Peaceful, quiet and no one cares even about such nice things. Today there is no apathy. Today is… nothing.
Ilona: How does it feel to be liberated?
Garsius: Like a beginning, or something like that. There is a strong need to show this to others also. There is silent gratitude with no target for it. And mind becomes like this: “oh, I should be very happy” and disappears. And there is love—silent warmth towards all: you, Elena, table, rain…
Ilona: Awesome! Thank you. Much appreciation here.
There are some questions left that we need to go through just to clarify, but I see you’ve made it.
Answer when ready.
Is there a “you”, at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form?
Garsius: Nope, there is no “me” at all.
Ilona: Explain in detail what the self is and how it works.
Garsius: I don’t know how it works. Somehow “I” is connected to every thought that comes. That is how “I am that, I am this, I feel this, I don’t feel that” is here. Somehow there is a belief about that—that you are this every statement “I am…”.
Like you are inside thought. You are content of that thought and acting with no questioning. If a question arises, it becomes an “I” immediately. So that, Ilona, the nonsense of self goes on forever.
Ilona: How does it feel to be liberated?
Garsius: It’s just perceiving all happening, looking at the “I” thought without being touched by it. Actually, you are not touched by anything. There is no “you”. Nothing. Everything. But not “I”. Even “I” is in that everything.
Ilona: How would you describe it to somebody who has never heard about “no you”?
Garsius: Spontaneously.
There is no “you”. Look and see that there is the body, thoughts, feelings etc., same as other things around in the world. Perception of those things happens,but there is no perceiver. The “I” thought is everywhere, but it is not you. Try and find that out yourself.Anything you can identify yourself with while trying will be false. You can’t be the thing you’re looking at. Look and take off layer after layer of that false “I” until nothing is left of “you”.
Ilona: Brilliant!
The last bit: is there any doubt at all?
Garsius: Nope, there is no doubt. “I” can return, but it is always clear that it is not me.
Ilona: Perfect. Can you tell me what pushed you over? What was most instrumental, what made you actually look? Can you look back and see if you can pinpoint that shift?
Garsius: Cannot say. Maybe that will come later. You and Elena just chopped, chopped and chopped. And somehow, at some point some resistance fall apart and nothing was left… Hah, now tears come. Much Love here.
This morning, when I opened my eyes, there was full clarity. Later I slipped and again did not understand what and how. (There was understanding, but also a thought that I don’t understand anything.)
There was nothing left to identify with, not even with emptiness. After this apathy started, like “oh well, it does not matter” and later something gave up. There was nowhere to retreat. Seeing happened.
Thank you.

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Please note that nothing written here is intended as medical advice. Readers who think that they need help with a physical or psychological condition are advised to seek a qualified opinion.

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