Addicted to guilt

A friend has recently started to attack me: “You have not the faintest idea of how to forgive. You have never forgiven.” My first automatic response is always to think “Oh she must be right.” And then look for “hidden” reasons for her being right.

Today it is recognized deeply that what is going on here is her mirroring to me my belief that I am guilty- and that “I” am buying it, seeing it as an opportunity to feel bad and punish myself.

But there is no separate self – no I.

What is going on is only this projection of deep unconscious guilt, and the field of murky-heavy energy between us – as soon as one of us falls into the old pattern of believing ego’s belief in guilt and taking it personally – attaching the me-label to it. And this is a dance that cannot be danced alone.

As this is recognized, deep peace comes, and the cords binding us to each other, while we play out this old guilt-projection-game, loosen. It is felt very clearly.

Now my intense negative resistance to these accusations melt – here are only 2 people caught in roles and forgetting that they have made the drama themselves.




1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. clotildajamcracker
    Dec 29, 2012 @ 22:36:18

    I think forgiving is important, because everyone makes mistakes, and it’s just nonstop fighting whenever people keep bringing up bad things about the past. However, I think it’s very important to learn from mistakes and remember the past. Like, the time my mother in law said she would return a borrowed book to our mutual friend for me and the book ended up bloated from water and covered with muck. Or the time she lost my kid at the fair and let my kid go off to a stranger’s house. She’s not getting to babysit my kids anymore. Forgiveness, sure. Trust…I don’t think so.


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Please note that nothing written here is intended as medical advice. Readers who think that they need help with a physical or psychological condition are advised to seek a qualified opinion.

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