Original guilt

And so it happened – for the thousand time – that the beautiful healing did not last. Or so it seems.

Todays lesson of the Course says: “I am upset because i see something that is not there.”

I realized to day that what I have “seen “as something very powerful outside me which sabotages any healing is nothing else than my choice for ego and separation: stemming from the moment where we, as One mind, thought that our choice for separation was a valid one and had the power to rob power from God and then run away into a material world. The perceived guilt and sin that came when we identified with separation have since then played out in the “world” where we do our best to project on others the guilty one, so we can keep the illusion AND the belief that we succeeded in separation.

This is the reason of the constant sabotaging: it is my choice to find attackers so that “I” can keep my innocence  -How wonderful to recognize that I truly WANT what is happening to me – and that the “I” who wants this is of course NOT the Leelah-personality, but the mind beyond time and space that just happened to believe that it COULD separate from God- it “remembered not to laugh” at the silly idea, as Jesus teaches in the Course.

Suddenly the identification seems to move: the one who reads the Course and learns is NOT the Leelah personality, but the decision-making part of Mind that now starts to see the silliness of its choice – and chooses to be wrong about it being seriousness.

Holy Spirit, come into my mind and heal what I think I have made

I am tired of believing it is safe being a victim – or a perpetrator – tired of believing that roles define the Son of God -deeply wanting to stop the games

3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. notesofashamanstudent
    Jan 06, 2013 @ 19:18:59

    Wow. This was powerful…From my perspective you are more radiant and whole. Often right after a healing, I will feel small again and have uncomfortable physical symptoms. When they pass, the expansion is evident. I send you the highest possible love!

    Reply

  2. Jacalyn
    Jan 07, 2013 @ 02:09:49

    This is like a divine poem. Your realization and acceptance are gifts for all. Thank you from the depth of my heart and soul!

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Please note that nothing written here is intended as medical advice. Readers who think that they need help with a physical or psychological condition are advised to seek a qualified opinion.

%d bloggers like this: