Blank pages – new start

I have all the nights, minus 1, since the stone was thrown, felt sucked into a huge magnetic field of terror/guilt/unhealthy energy where the same thoughts have kept circulating, and  have been bought into. I have believed them – and this belief has powered them and made them seem real.

Believing in the story about the victim-me has magnetized the post-traumatic stress-syndrome, inclusive depression.

This morning , after feeling the usual hellish feelings, and asking for help to see this differently, the thought descended: “This is just a story.You are not the hero of the story: you are observing it.”

In one second all the terror slipped off.

I was lying in bed and sensing how the “old identity” tried to insert itself. It certainly felt like something alien, but that was seen as a thought too – and I could choose to believe in it or not.

I chose not to.

Later in the day, I worked with Ashera again. We explored a huge resistance around the heart-area, and I “heard” threats: “You belong to me. I owe you, I am the powerful, and you are nothing.”

I have most of my life heard this voice – and I have mistaken it for something alien,“outside” of me. But this was discovered to be a “protector” from my own mind, whose function it was to scare me witless, so I never went near the original doom and terror-feelings in the center of the heart at a time where I was not mature enough to release them.

As Ashera talked, it became clear that the former “threatener”-function/voice willingly gave up its protector-role, as soon as I had accepted its function as original positive – the threatening was scaring me away from possible overwhelm and psychosis/suicide. Now, being seen with Love, it transformed into a warm loving light around the heart.

It was discovered that I had a contract/vow of taking on a savior-role, helping as many as possible. I released that gladly  – and asking Holy Spirit to correct it, was shown that the only thing to do, was to forgive the very idea of suffering and responsibilities and Bodhisattvas ( and specialness-)

I am here to know Who I am


And finally I want to share a wonderful method of healing taken from “Energetic boundaries” by Cyndi Dale. Here with a little adjustment to the Course-thinking:

1) Affirm that you/A/ are as God created you: free, healed, whole and innocent, with the power of God in your mind. Breathe into your heart while saying this affirmation. Sense the shift in your energies as you do this.

2) Affirm that the other person /B/are the same: s/he is not their behavior, but Spirit with the power of God in their mind and heart. Affirm their original essence.

3) Sense the Presence of the Spirit inside of B: Join with, link with, engage with this Spirit in the other –  feel how the unhealthy connections release and sense how only Love remains.

This can also be done between you and group of people – dead or alive – like family, workplace, community – and also an animal.

4) Call upon assistance of the Divine: The Holy Spirit/ God/Love/ All that is – whatever name you feel is appropriate. It immediately shifts the situation into whatever it’s supposed to be, by providing you with any necessary insights, protection, healing or act of grace.


What a wonderful helpful gift: to truly KNOW that any resistance – how vicious  it may sound and feel – is just a form of protection, and earlier decision made from fear – but with the intent to protect this “you” we thought we were.



1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Jacalyn
    Jan 10, 2013 @ 20:46:23

    This is an awesome technique! Thanks for sharing yet another great gift from the depth of your brilliant soul!


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Please note that nothing written here is intended as medical advice. Readers who think that they need help with a physical or psychological condition are advised to seek a qualified opinion.

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