One more step closer to the light

I decided to write F and share my thoughts and what his act has triggered in me.I can share openly my process and what this had done to me – and I can share the beauty I have seen in him. And it feels GOOD to do that. That it feels good means that it comes from the heart and truth, and I am committed to follow impulses/guiding from that source. That is the very essence of healing  – to follow those impulses, and disregard the fear-based ones, belonging to the false self.

That means, being willing to know that only Truth is true and real

I see more often now that any feelings of discomfort, fear, pain come from choosing the ego thought system of guilt, sin and fear and believing it is “mine”  – identifying with it – but I can choose to turn away from the ego-lies and listen to Love instead.

*

My beloved Jamie tells me that this is all we have to do as Course students: just acknowledge that we chose this, we don’t want this any longer, and leave the rest to Holy Spirit.

“Just rest, and allow the fear to abate” he reminds me. I see that somehow I am so familiar with the sin/guilt/fear thought system – no wonder, it is everywhere in the world – I seem to believe that it is possible to find safety in there as long as I follow “the rules.”

I used a couple of hours this night to write down in a frank letter to him what was triggered in me by his act of destruction. The more I wrote, the more love was felt – and the clearer I saw and remembered him from when he was my patient: a deeply sensitive and creative man with torturing inner voices. And again I remembered that it was in our work together that an important truth was found – the Divine is always available in the middle of chaos and can be summoned.

1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Mona Gustafson Affinito
    Jan 28, 2013 @ 16:52:09

    Love this! Thanks.

    Mona

    Reply

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Please note that nothing written here is intended as medical advice. Readers who think that they need help with a physical or psychological condition are advised to seek a qualified opinion.

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