A call from Mr.Esser

This morning, very early, a wave of darkness was moving through the mind and was sensed in the body, and in that second it was registered that this had nothing to do with a “me.” It happened to no-one, was just a movement in consciousness. And so, it was allowed to move, and “I” was watching it. I am using “I” here describing this, just for communication purposes – in reality, nobody was watching. It was completely impersonal, and from that second on there was just a watching of thoughts. No attachment to them, no interest. Each thought was appearing, seen and allowed to drift by. The wave of darkness was moving  s l o w l y  upwards and as it moved to a new area – like from chest to throat – certain thoughts, seen to “belong” to that area or chakra, was noticed and released. When this happened, at some point I was seeing that the energy was going both up and down, and I noticed that the hip-area-thoughts were very different form the throat -area-thoughts – they belonged to different families, so to speak.

“This is interesting” was seen as a thought too.

It was liberating to notice that all of this happened to no-one, (and no-one was missed.)

At some point the thought of Fred being out to kill me was seen through: I saw that I had used Fred to attack me and punish me: the attack was indeed seen to originate in the mind, projected outwards. Seeing this, the image of Fred and fear vanished without a trace – like in a dream –

Then I fell asleep.

I dreamed that my late husband Kip and me had different rooms sin our apartment. He was making lots of simplifications in his room. – A phone rang in his room, and he held it out to me and told me that somebody called “ Mr.Esser” wanted to talk to me.

But because I was intrigued by Kip’s changes, I chose to ask him a question about it (and wait to answer my call.)

I studied Latin for three years in high school. It’s nice when it comes to use.Esser means “to be” or “being.”

Realizing that I chose against talking to Being was seen with a mixture of amusement and slight irritation. ( And guilt: “oh God, again.”)

Then that was realized as just another thought too.

*

It’s late evening now – and the usual fear-pattern is establishing itself again. This time I don’t take it as serious as before: it is recognized that this is a pattern in my mind, and it’s there I will meet it and be with it – without believing in what fear is telling me.

So that’s what I will do now: go to bed and be with it, knowing well that what I am looking at, was healed the very second the “problem” of separation seemed to happen – and allowing that healing to just be.

So it seems I will talk to Mr. Esser after all

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Please note that nothing written here is intended as medical advice. Readers who think that they need help with a physical or psychological condition are advised to seek a qualified opinion.

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