The love of being RIGHT

As Presence places my inner old emotional charges as outer manifestations, I am in for quite a ride. It also demonstrates that what The Presence Process – and The Course – says, really is a fact. What before sat deep inside the unconscious as an imprint in the nervous system is now appearing on the outside, driving me nuts. Except that it doesn’t.

Yesterday at the bus – ah, such a place for learning and awakening:) – I presented my electronic ticket/card to the driver and said “senior”. He gave me a ticket which showed me he had not given me senior-status = cheaper ticket. As I pointed this out, he told me with very loud voice that I had NOT said senior. I said I had, and with even louder voice and an incredibly preachy tone he said “I will fix this for you, and next time you need to say “Senior.” I said I had – and as if he had not heard that at all, he repeated in this preaching voice that I j u s t  n e e d e d   t o   s  a y  S E N I O R . And “Now remember that next time, hm?” and I realized we were in one of my stories, and said “Yes” and we both smiled, as if it was just a big joke.

I noticed the smile, and noticed the lesson for forgiveness  – and I managed to realize that ego was having a ball,and that he was a messenger and NOT the message – (but he was sure messing with my anger:)

Today I was sitting with Michael Brown’s 40 days procedure of being with discomfort – and I choose the theme “eyes looking at me.” It brought up all kinds of strong discomfort/fear/disgust/panic/sickness – and pains everywhere in the body – so this is quite a useful and effective theme to clear out! And in the middle of it, the memory of how  I felt  with the condescending bus-driver presented itself. The feelings of helplessness, being made an idiot of, and the impossibility of correcting this.

What a treat it is to sit with the intention to just BE with all of that, and know that everything happening in th world of time and matter that I react to, is just my mind emptying its emotional charge in projecting it on the outside. It did not happen TO me: it happened THROUGH me.

It also showed me one of ego’s most favorite ploys of all: the need of BEING RIGHT and the fear of BEING WRONG and STUPID and the whole can of  inner torment-worms that that belief brings.

Holy Spirit, I forgive myself for wanting separation in all its forms

and I bless the bus-driver for playing the role I needed to experience.

It did not happen TO me: it happened THROUGH me.

*

I also want to share a divine photographer:

http://www.timflach.com/

click at “portfolio” and enjoy the slide-show

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Please note that nothing written here is intended as medical advice. Readers who think that they need help with a physical or psychological condition are advised to seek a qualified opinion.

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