The movie-theater-train

Two wonderful helpful dreams this morning

In the first, I am in my childhood-area – and again, on the middle place between the house/home and the train to the center/Home. Good to notice! There I find an almost dead female cat. I instantly decide that it is my responsibility to feed her and save her from dying.

A very angry female doctor intervenes and tell me to stop pampering to the cat’s insistence to eat only special food and that she must have my help to survive. “Tell me more!” I say – this resonates strongly with truth for me. And I see: she -the cat -really is responsible for her undernourishment: she just refuses to eat what is healthy for her. In short – she wants pampering for her role as a poor- almost -dying -starving- for- love-cat.

Now this sounds very familiar: I still remember my mother frequently reflecting to me this poor poor me and poor poor you-role – and I grabbed it gladly: it meant tenderness, warmth, “love.” And it sure kept that role alive in me. So good to SEE it now: it IS a role, an emotional signature only. Dropping the story and being with the emotions is my choice – and forgiving both my mother and myself for it.

In my wake-state, I notice the feelings I had in the dream/inner movie when I tended to the almostdying cat: I kept her from dying. I provided LIFE for her. Did that make me special or what! And also nice! Kind! Generous! Loving! And let’s not forget POWERFUL! Almost like God.All very pleasurable roles – and all of them from the ego thought-system: none of them reflecting reality.

I recognize how easy it is to be addicted to the role as “savior” – how welcome to float into this pattern and away from the non-welcome victim-role in my childhood.

The very root of this role springs from unreality – we believe in thoughts that say “ this is the way you find love.” It is certainly not unconditional love – how could it be? Our parents inherited the scars from their parents – and so on back to beginning. But the only way to receive care and tenderness in the world is to keep the poor me going: I see clearly how humanity has needed this pattern of specialness to continue – to avoid the knowledge of the Self and Unity.

This now is the only place where we can choose to see it and let it go.

What an opportunity for healing it is to include all of that in THIS ONE HEART we all share – in this NOW. Being integrated and welcomed at last – not as mental story, as emotional pattern.

The last thing I give over is the feeling of shame – ego’s shame of not being right – of being seen through

*

Next dream:

I am in a huge vaulted dome-like cinema – it resembles our biggest movie-theater, but is even bigger: the Coliseum. A symbol of collective journeying in the imagination/mind – and one of the Course’s main symbol of a life in the world as seemingly separated beings.

This movie theater is – at the same time – a bus or train that will take us to our chosen goal. I know this after waking up – seeing that there are no movie-chairs in red velvet, but a simple old-fashioned train-bench. We are traveling as the same time that we are looking at the movie – we are conscious of the dream while we are dreaming.

My daughter and son-in-law are entering, and I point to “my” bench and call out:” there’s place for you here – take it! “And they do, right in front of two other stalling people who can’t make up their mind where to sit.

We have bought tickets to a little town, translating as Truevillage.  My dream maker – Jesus( I have asked him to do this) does not waste a single symbol:)

We ahave all bought tickets – so why not enjoy the ride? And the movie?

Will we recognize that Presence is the scriptwriter and director?

 

 

 

 

 

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Please note that nothing written here is intended as medical advice. Readers who think that they need help with a physical or psychological condition are advised to seek a qualified opinion.

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