Proving the separation real

The last days, after the anger-trance I described recently, I have felt strong identification with the whole emotional trigger theme. Thoughts and stories about life-threatening men caught in immense anger-trances have become so very real. While I have had glimpses of freedom – the timeless moments when I know I am into an old ego story – the majority of time has been spent in agony of identifying with the “victim-me” in those stories.

Today I realized: “Oh – I just thought I needed to prove that separation is real.”

There was an immediate release and laughter – and days-old energy fields of agony fell away.

Seen from this place, I see stories of terror in the mind, reflecting memories from this childhood and umpteen incarnations, now placed on Peter and me.

Next time the stories come again, and I find myself spinning myself into them, and planning how to survive Peter and foresee his acts and prepare and control and make it all real -let me remember this: I – ego really – is doing its best to prove that separation really happened.

Let me clarify: This is in no way denying any possibility that Peter may become violent  and do harm – to me and others, when he gets triggered. BUT: he did not attack any of us physically, AND he immediately came back to his loving self when met with love. AND I choose to believe in that – until any proofs of the contrary.

 

 

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Please note that nothing written here is intended as medical advice. Readers who think that they need help with a physical or psychological condition are advised to seek a qualified opinion.

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