Getting it

I think I get it 🙂

I mean, truly get it

Hm it seems I have been here before

but still

This seems to be a real tough day to get through – energywise –  lots and lots of resistance and feelings of being unfairly treated

until I saw – for the umpteenth time in my life –

(but today it is REALLY REALLY clear)

“Let it be exactly as it it is. Relax. Lean into it. “

And the letting go happens all by itself

One moment by one moment

same fresh choice

The dance of ego

This little gem illustrates how the ego chases something that it thinks it outside of itself – …oh doesn’t it look ridiculous when we look at it –

when I chase anything, it is me I am chasing

when I blame and attack anything, it is me I am attacking

Now, I can look at it – watching myself watching it – and stop playing with that tale – I mean tail  – acting a role in a dream of my own making


Take care of yourself

Practicing “The Untethered Soul”-way  has flowed easily and with grace. It has been simple to experience my Self as the Observer, the Witness – and not getting involved in whatever the mind presents. I love Singer’s way of describing the practice – he tells us to watch us watch, and not get involved in what we watch – “don’t play with it” he says, and this sentence is written in gold for me.

I have needed to make an important distinction – when to play/engage in stories and form and when NOT.

As artist  and therapist embracing  all art modalities,  I know that all CAN be played with. That is what “Healing Crisis – 108 ways to turn crises into possibilities” is all about. You may read more about that work on this blog, where I present the 4 books I am in the process of self-publishing.

What I discover with Singer’s process is that as soon as darkness wells up, just as energy, I can relax physically and intentionally let it go. That has worked phenomenally for a couple of days. I have found that if I get the impulse to paint or dance or writes stories/poems to deal with the pain, that is excellent – it is fun! and effective! -But sometimes it is simpler just to release it. What becomes clear is that my Self wants me to enjoy the process and not “work” at it.

So yesterday it was just impossible to stay in the watcher-position. I wrote this poem instead –  being conscious that I want the underlying message to come through: the art of  hiding any outer signs of protest or distress, so the facade seems completely flawless. You find it in all families where the demon of perfection is a member.



My mother has sewed a national costume for me.I wear an embroidered bonnet on my blond hair, and  a white cotton blouse with wide sleeves under the embroidered costume.

She has sewed at night to finish it in time for my performance .She has even made one for my doll Anne too.

Anne belongs to me

I am a clever and talented little girl: I make poems and melodies and perform them from a stage at my school closure, accompanying myself on a little accordion. My parents sit very close to me. They will let me know every error I made afterwards. This is love.

Under the dress, allergic itching boils cover all of the body – except for my face and hands which is visible.

Afterwards my father tells me that I should have sung with more feeling.

So I accepted where I was and took care of myself as best I could. And had a wondrous dream:

I am visiting a School for Teachers. I am there to teach – the old technique my husband had taught me on how to create puppets,  more than 100 years old. When I entered the infinite corridor of the school, where discoveries and observation and play was happening everywhere – (no blackboards) I felt hilarious with joy. And I decided that I would happily leave my old tradition.

I visited many classrooms, and everywhere I felt  the same joy of exploration and inclusion. Nobody – absolutely nobody were excluded in the creative process, and it was a matter of course that everyone’s input was invaluable. This created an exquisite feeling of unity and joy.

Then I met a strong and exuberant man called Benner – or something like it. He had this great motor bike, and I hopped on as passenger. Complete freedom! We are now driving down a muddy slope, and before us lays the ocean. Oops  – is this safe? I decide that it is: that Benner knows what he is doing.

And there we are, flying across the water surface with immense speed. We fly so fast that the nature is starting to seem flurry – the forms dissolve and becomes light. We flow through a tunnel of this light, the beauty  and joy is indescribable.

In this school, it was demonstrated that the most joyous work came out of the structure that everybody’s inputs were valued.The Self was playing with Itself, and if a “part” of the Self had a sense of “No, not like that”, that sense belonged to the truth of the process and was just picked up  by that part. And the result was perfection – but the perfection in Self and not in  separate self, as the Doll-poem was about.





the creative imperative

Emelle – thanks for this – Love David Whyte ( thought he was MUCH older:)) and have ordered Wennnstrom’s book

I reblog this with joy

Allowing the highest love to express itself as music

In his book, “The untethered soul” Michael A.Singer shares in a lucid way how to release what Michael Brown in his ” The Presence Process” calls emotional imprints, or emotional signatures. Singer uses the Sanskrit term  Samskara. “A Samskara is a cycle of stored past energy patterns in a state of relative equilibrium. it is your resistance to experience these patterns that causes energy to keep cycling around itself. There is no other place for it to go. You won’t let it. This is how most people process their issues. This packet of energy is literally stores in your energetic heart center. All the Samskaras you have collected over your life are stored there.”

I love how Spirit continually leads me to always further expansions of knowledge, to help me from getting stuck.

He gives us clear directions on how to release – another way of describing Brown’s “being with” – description. He says: “Let it happen. Get it over with. Don’t process them one by one, it’s too slow.” (Oh thank God! :)) “Stay centered behind them and let them go. —If you relax and release, the purification of the heart is a wonderful thing. Set your eyes on the highest state you can imagine and don’t take them off. If you slip, just get back up. it doesn’t matter.”

And that brings me to my sweet revelation this morning: while doing this, setting my eyes/intention on the highest state I can imagine, I heard this concert  clear in my mind.

I went to YouTube and found this:

please scroll forward to 20:16, where the Romance starts.

This is played by one of my greatest loves: Krystof Zimerman, born in Krakow 1956 – but here, he is 20 years old

Listening to this is much easier that holding on to visual images. Now I can just allow it to play in my mind – and I know this so by heart –

Everything here is upside down


This is water

Is it real?

The Course asks us to remember to not accept any thought that does not come from reality – i.e. God/Truth/Heaven.

In the mind of anyone who has been abused in any way, there are lots of strategy-thoughts belonging to survival-mode – and they all revolve around “me”.

I am these days acutely aware of the survival-strategies that I built up when small – and also aware that they saved my life.

But what it is really about it this: if it is not real – that is, a thought  from Love – I can let it go and not react to it.

As soon as I react, I am part of the energetic vortex of guilt and sin and fear – and then I have identified myself with ego and its thought-system.

It came to me right now, while sharing with Kit by Skype:

It is not real – and it cannot harm the truth of who I am.

I will stick to that, and stay out of discussions

In my defenselessness my safety lies.

Lesson 153

W-pI.153.12. Salvation can be thought of as a game that happy children play. 2 It was designed by One Who loves His children, and Who would replace their fearful toys with joyous games, which teach them that the game of fear is gone. 3 His game instructs in happiness because there is no loser. 4 Everyone who plays must win, and in his winning is the gain to everyone ensured. 5 The game of fear is gladly laid aside, when children come to see the benefits salvation brings.

W-pI.153.13. You who have played that you are lost to hope, abandoned by your Father, left alone in terror in a fearful world made mad by sin and guilt; be happy now. 2 That game is over. 3 Now a quiet time has come, in which we put away the toys of guilt, and lock our quaint and childish thoughts of sin forever from the pure and holy minds of Heaven’s children and the Son of God.

W-pI.153.14. We pause but for a moment more, to play our final, happy game upon this earth. 2 And then we go to take our rightful place where truth abides and games are meaningless. 3 So is the story ended. 4 Let this day bring the last chapter closer to the world, that everyone may learn the tale he reads of terrifying destiny, defeat of all his hopes, his pitiful defense against a vengeance he can not escape, is but his own deluded fantasy. 5 God’s ministers have come to waken him from the dark dreams this story has evoked in his confused, bewildered memory of this distorted tale. 6 God’s Son can smile at last, on learning that it is not true.

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Please note that nothing written here is intended as medical advice. Readers who think that they need help with a physical or psychological condition are advised to seek a qualified opinion.

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