Open letter

Dear Mickey

You and I have very similar patterns of hurt from childhood. The drama going on on the Real Life – thread on Writers’ Forum is mirroring the constant agony going on in the mind of anyone having been abused and betrayed. Following the thread a little while – and also having read many of your posts on different Forums – has brought this old agony to the surface in my mind. Which is a blessing, really – now it can be dealt with and brought to Love.

As long as I did not do that, but identified with the hurt child and the drama of innocent and guilty at the Real Life thread, I became ill – just as the starter of the thread. This lasted until this night, when I prayed deeply for help.

I heard: What would Love have done?

So I got out of bed – 3 am -and listened to Love and wrote it down. Slept on it,and asked for a sign to post it or not.My yogi teabag for breakfast read: “Don’t let anyone fall.”

 

What would Love have done?

Love would recognize primal fear and paranoia and embrace it. Just sitting with it, letting it be, noticing the stories but not getting caught in them.

As long as one positions oneself as one of the seemingly  separate players in that old guilt-slinging game of attack and defense     = war  – one is in the  conditioned mind, ruled by fear, and is unavailable to the Love that is always here. It is always here because it is our very nature.

Dear Mickey. Your comment to my book was written from this clarity and Love. I felt blessed reading it. I then read your blog and recognized the wisdom it was written with. But you have also – as have we all  – this hurt, unhealed, agonized inner child. And when you express yourself FROM this role, he calls on this agonized child in all the others.

These children can not agree on anything. But Love can embrace all of them. They can not be aware of Love’s Presence as long as they identify with the hurtful victim-role. The ego’s favorite game is” who is right and who is wrong – who is innocent and who is guilty and attacker.” And when we do play that age old trance- game and look at each other as separate players, – these hells  of fear and guilt-slinging open and suck us in. When push comes to shove, this atmosphere feels so familiar. It is. We grew up in it.

When we are willing to rise about that level, and ask for help, we see only terrified children trying to believe that they are have done nothing wrong, are not guilty. But deep down the children DO believe they are guilty – they have been told so by their abusers.

Dear Mickey. You have done nothing wrong. And the ones who reacted to your post have their right to react just as crazy and scared as they do. The conditioned mind, which thinks it is separate from Love, jumps at any invitation to play its favorite mind of “me” and “them.” Guilty or innocent. Right or wrong. There is an immense powerful addictive quality for the abused ones in that game:  the inner child identifies these feelings as its HOME. Nothing feeds the ego thought system as playing this game.

But the ego is nothing else than a thought of separation. When we are drawn into its thought system of fear and projection, we enter the world of war. In war there are clear separate parts: they each defend their belief that they need to win to have space and peace. When Love looks at war, It sees confused mind fighting itself. It also sees that the possibility exists that one sees “the enemy” as a construct – and instead recognizes a brother in pain, who is only crying out for love.

 

You have in so many threads at Writers’ Forum shown yourself as a true master. You have also shown the terrified guilt ridden little boy who screams to all of us: I am innocent.

We are all innocent. Fear takes hold of us and we act out of old patterns of intense terror .And then we really cannot see and know each other. The only thing that is happening is a bunch of shit-scared children who cannot see the truth in each other because they are caught in their old stories, and seeing through distorted filters they established when they were small.

The filters are still in action as long as we have not integrated our childhood pain. The filters were placed there by adults who themselves had been demonstrated these filters and brought them on to their children. They all do the best they can, with the cards they have been dealt. See this, and be free.

There are only two forces here: Love and fear. Love must be actively chosen. When we do, we can take the position as Love – or Presence – which embraces all that agony, just by lovingly being with it.

That’s the only way out of the nightmare.

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Please note that nothing written here is intended as medical advice. Readers who think that they need help with a physical or psychological condition are advised to seek a qualified opinion.

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