“I choose the joy of God instead of pain”

My daughter just phoned and announced that she and her beau was coming later than  agreed to help me put up a fence.

My first reaction was so ugly and gave me such a head-ache that I immediately decided to forgive this reaction and look to love instead. I opened the Course randomly and here is what I found:

LESSON 190.

I choose the joy of God instead of pain.

W-pI.190.1. Pain is a wrong perspective. 2 When it is experienced in any form, it is a proof of self-deception. 3 It is not a fact at all. 4 There is no form it takes that will not disappear if seen aright. 5 For pain proclaims God cruel. 6 How could it be real in any form? 7 It witnesses to God the Father’s hatred of His Son, the sinfulness He sees in him, and His insane desire for revenge and death.

W-pI.190.2. Can such projections be attested to? Can they be anything but wholly false? 3 Pain is but witness to the Son’s mistakes in what he thinks he is. 4 It is a dream of fierce retaliation for a crime that could not be committed; for attack on what is wholly unassailable. 5 It is a nightmare of abandonment by an Eternal Love, which could not leave the Son whom It created out of love.

W-pI.190.3. Pain is a sign illusions reign in place of truth. 2 It demonstrates God is denied, confused with fear, perceived as mad, and seen as traitor to Himself. 3 If God is real, there is no pain. 4 If pain is real, there is no God. 5 For vengeance is not part of love. 6 And fear, denying love and using pain to prove that God is dead, has shown that death is victor over life. 7 The body is the Son of God, corruptible in death, as mortal as the Father he has slain.

W-pI.190.4. Peace to such foolishness! 2 The time has come to laugh at such insane ideas. 3 There is no need to think of them as savage crimes, or secret sins with weighty consequence. 4 Who but a madman could conceive of them as cause of anything? 5 Their witness, pain, is mad as they, and no more to be feared than the insane illusions which it shields, and tries to demonstrate must still be true.

W-pI.190.5. It is your thoughts alone that cause you pain. 2 Nothing external to your mind can hurt or injure you in anyway. 3 There is no cause beyond yourself that can reach down and bring oppression. 4 No one but yourself affects you. 5 There is nothing in the world that has the power to make you ill or sad, or weak or frail. 6 But it is you who have the power to dominate all things you see by merely recognizing what you are. 7 As you perceive the harmlessness in them, they will accept your holy will as theirs. 8 And what was seen as fearful now becomes a source of innocence and holiness.

W-pI.190.6. My holy brother, think of this awhile: The world you see does nothing. 2 It has no effects at all. 3 It merely represents your thoughts. 4 And it will change entirely as you elect to change your mind, and choose the joy of God as what you really want. 5 Your Self is radiant in this holy joy, unchanged, unchanging and unchangeable, forever and forever. 6 And would you deny a little corner of your mind its own inheritance, and keep it as a hospital for pain; a sickly place where living things must come at last to die?

:::

W-pI.190.9. Lay down your arms, and come without defense into the quiet place where Heaven’s peace holds all things still at last. 2 Lay down all thoughts of danger and of fear. 3 Let no attack enter with you. 4 Lay down the cruel sword of judgment that you hold against your throat, and put aside the withering assaults with which you seek to hide your holiness.

W-pI.190.10. Here will you understand there is no pain. 2 Here does the joy of God belong to you. 3 This is the day when it is given you to realize the lesson that contains all of salvation’s power. 4 It is this: Pain is illusion; joy, reality. 5 Pain is but sleep; joy is awakening. 6 Pain is deception; joy alone is truth.

W-pI.190.11. And so again we make the only choice that ever can be made; we choose between illusions and the truth, or pain and joy, or hell and Heaven. 2 Let our gratitude unto our Teacher fill our hearts, as we are free to choose our joy instead of pain, our holiness in place of sin, the peace of God instead of conflict, and the light of Heaven for the darkness of the world.

***

This is a big break-through for me. My first reaction was seen as an old revenge-story, being RIGHT and making the others see their guilt of betraying me ( coming too late, in my view.”

Suddenly the choice was crystal clear: 4 It is this: Pain is illusion; joy, reality. 5 Pain is but sleep; joy is awakening. 6 Pain is deception; joy alone is truth.

I just knew that my reaction came from ego, and would NOT bring me peace to hold on to. I chose to see my daughter as radiantly innocent, and just acting out my projection on her. I thanked her in my mind for  helping me find it and forgive it. When she arrived, it was with a radiant smile and the bestest hug. All blame from my side was gone. Miracle, I tell you.

One time she tried to unscrew an old rusty screw from an old rotten fence-post. It did not budge. I blessed it and it came out as easy as butter. – The two of them worked all day with making a firm base for the new fence-post. I love the symbols of this firm base of the fence: no rotten old planks any longer, and truly digging deep for a long time to help the new post find its ground. Lots of old roots removed from the earlier  sick bush that now is removed.Now my fence joins with my neighbor’s -I love that symbol too:)

In short – I am very happy and grateful and tired. And have truly learned this lesson once and for all: whenever I blame somebody, I need to forgive my reaction and remember that pain is illusion, and that the pain is in MY mind where it can be forgiven and replaced with Love.

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Please note that nothing written here is intended as medical advice. Readers who think that they need help with a physical or psychological condition are advised to seek a qualified opinion.

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