The red spot

Going to bed last night, I noticed a clear round red spot on my left cheek. It was big too – 0,6 inch.That set off a strong alarm in the body  – my face would be disfigured,I would not look pretty anymore. i would look disgusting, disfigured, sickening, abominable. It took some seconds before i recognized split-off feelings from very young: verbal abuse from the men who also sexually abused me. I felt U G L Y and D I S G U S T I N G  and there was a strong identification with all the labels.

I have looked at photos of myself as young. Pretty is a weak word for it. Thing is – I did not see that before I was in the sixties. The old image of BAD and DISGUSTING was a veil that i saw myself through, whatever others told me.

In bed, I went into the TAT-pose  and went through the 8 sentences/”attitudes” while holding the pose. One can incorporate TAT with Course-teachings, so this is a great healing procedure for me. TAT works with putting our attention on what the attitudes say while touching certain energy-medicine points, and then just paying attention to what happens in the body and mind, letting it be, trusting the process.

What happened was strong pains like lightening bolts, nausea and despair. While i was going through the process, I knew that when something manifests in the skin like this, it means that it has come to be seen and forgiven and released. So I forgave my perception of myself as disgusting etc – forgave the ones who gave me the words ( by choosing ego as my teacher I had unconsciously wanted somebody to punish guilty old me.)

Looking into the mirror this morning, there was no trace of the red spot. I said thank you very loud – and heard: “it is your perception of yourself that is healed.”

Of course! The red spot was nothing else than a projection of my “ugly disgusting” perception of myself.

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Please note that nothing written here is intended as medical advice. Readers who think that they need help with a physical or psychological condition are advised to seek a qualified opinion.

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