Ka

Yesterday I found an old journal with records from therapy. I browsed through it and found a conversation with Blue concerning dark forces. I had completely forgotten this.

Blue said: You made a deal with yourself  long time ago – many lives ago, when we think about time – to allow a so-called dark one into your soul and energy field – to help you find out what is stronger than darkness. What is stronger than fear. You wanted to learn it in such a way that you could never forget it.

Ah. This is good to remember: the darkness is there on my invitation. I had made a vow to keep it there until I was clear about it. Knowing that it was an active choice allows the whole victim-drama to just drain out.

I felt a tenderness towards this soul I have called “mine”, and all the confusion,drama, torture and abuse it has lived through. It seems that I am very in the very process of letting it all go

The last two posts have described the essence of countless lives with resistance to darkness, and therefore giving it power over me: the “ghost” and “demon” coming to my door were costumed angels,giving me the opportunity to see through illusion to the innocence and childlike center beneath. And also – although there was fear-energy still connected to it, the Light that went out came on again: whatever seems to happen to “me”, THE LIGHT IS ON

My healing question is ” I wonder how this is going to release/turn out/go” – said with a curiosity and ease that comes from trust in God and the process. Letting the reins of th ego go

This morning I had a dream:

I held an adorable animal in my arms – it was pure joy, love and playfulness.

Animal – anima – animus:  the Jungian way of describing my soul. Writing this, I also recognize the adorable character Croc in my Hilaryon-stories

I also met a man whose  name was Kawinder. He was Indian – wise , gentle,loving

KA – The old Egyptians had several terms for soul, and KA was the part that was the true life-force.

Winder – wins- “the soul/true life-force wins.” Wins over what? fear.Illusion. And that the soul “wins”, means nothing else to me than that when i choose to ask ” I wonder how this will play out” I am joining with Truth and not fear – I am trusting completely that all is well, although on the appearance-level things may seem “bad.”

Whatever appears, the LIGHT is ON

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Please note that nothing written here is intended as medical advice. Readers who think that they need help with a physical or psychological condition are advised to seek a qualified opinion.

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