Tappings on the shoulder – post fromNichola

This morning I remembered weeks ago when Leelah had a dream about two women – one was ridiculing her –the other was skeptical – the skeptical one was me. She reached out to ask to do some skype sessions –  I had also recently told her that I had been diagnosed with a serious illness.

I am not a Course in Miracles student but because of last week’s encounter with David Hoffmeister appearing on my jellyfish page I watched some YouTubes of his over the weekend. I particularly noticed the one where he said that Holy Spirit would tap us on the shoulder again and again until we pay attention.

Then this Friday evening comes, and as well as the illness I am worried about many things, money, where I am living. I feel like my life is completely falling apart and I’m not going to make it.

One simple question from Leelah and it is like a key has turned in a lock.

It is real or is it a thought?

It is a thought. Wow – relief about that. Then something more – it is not just a thought, it is a thought  system – there are many thoughts attached to this one mega-thought that ‘I might not make it” including – not good enough, too ugly, not worthy , made too many mistakes – the list could fill up a whole room.

Are you willing to be wrong about it?

Yes I am willing to be wrong about that thought, but it is really amazing because I realise that thought has been one of the bedrocks of my life, and it isn’t true.

Leelah talks about perception – in this case perception is the way that we see the world provide us with proof that we are right. If you are reading this, it might sound elementary, but to me it is like the rock cracking in the tomb. And the light shining in. I am stunned with what I have just understood.

The perception then creates the feelings which then lead us back nicely to the thought.

I start to think about the idea that our thoughts create our reality but then I think that is not correct – that perceived reality is only part of the loop.

I guess it could be called a major thought system—a fully self-contained self-perpetuating loop of non-reality. I can hardly believe it.

We do an exercise that Leelah has learned from a tape with Regina Dawn Akers : Draw a circle and put the thought at 12 o’clock, the perception it leads to at four o’clock ,the feelings the perception creates at eight o’clock. To demonstrate the loop.

Leelah suggests something to replace this “I’m not going to make it”  with something else: “I wonder how this is going to turn out/”  I try it out. I feels good.

This morning I remember the YouYube by David Hoffmeister about the Holy Spirit tapping me on the shoulder. And I think about how I am really stopped in my tracks at the moment – by physical mobility, finances, other things and about what happened last night. I am that skeptic that Leelah dreamed about, yet I am sure now that all this apparent chaos and loss of power is not what it seems. It is the tapping – tapping waking me up to true self and I am blessed.




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Please note that nothing written here is intended as medical advice. Readers who think that they need help with a physical or psychological condition are advised to seek a qualified opinion.

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