A dip into Heaven

In the night, I listened to a tape of an activation by Rikka. There are first about ten minutes of greetings, and then the activation begins.

I sensed big expansion, and after just a few minutes I knew my vibration was vastly changed. I felt light, happy, loving. In the middle of that, ther came a crystal clear knowing: the chronic pains in the chest and neck, the suffering – it is not real. It is a false identity, believed in. It is “false evidence appearing real” = fear. Or “false identity believed in” – FIBI 🙂 I like the sound of FIBI – you really can’t take FIBI serious.

This vast space that I am in, inthe night, just naturally turned toward the stress and painenergy, created by resisting truth ( the  expanded, high-vibrational state of mind that I am in) and told it “I’ve got you, love. It’s safe to come out now.” The pain is just thoughts that I have believed in – and so it has become my experience. But right now, none of it is believed in, none attached to, just an old tape that the Holy Son of God has believed in, becoming part of the fear and separation paradigm ruling this dimension.

Now it is seen that I am the Home of that.

There is an intention of letting all those false fear thoughts go – they have nothing to do with this Presence that I Am.

Thoughts of sin and fear and guilt and specialness  that humans use to swim in as their sea of nourishment and meaning – now seen as inconsequential wisps of nothingness

*

And there is a couple of hours sleep in the morning, and the world is back again

 

 

Heaven

The nights are still filled with overwhelming energies through the body –

but when the day comes and I get out of bed, suddenly there is an awareness this this has nothing to do with me. It is stuff  leaving me – myriads of thoughts that I have believed belonging to “me”, now seen as “phantoms” trapped in a false reality, on a screen – and as long as I give them attention and seriousity, I give them power to “live” –

but what I am, is the vast space of being behind this screen

This morning, the Love was all encompassing – and I saw that the stuff in the body still did its thing, but i didn’t mind – it was not serious –

Heaven

Beliving in false thoughts

An old theme melted today. Before, I had to work for weeks and involve legal authorities to have a package I ordered sent to me and not to be picked up at a Post office 3 hours away. I have gone through this process twice before – a huge forgiveness opportunity – and this time, when the procedure repeated itself and I called the new firm, I connected with their consultant in a beautiful way. It turned out she lived close to me and offered to drive there and pick it up and bring it to me on the door! Now there is a good sign that something in the mind has shifted:)

Then she told me that the Post office would not deliver it to her. But she told me in a mail that I just had to write them (the firm)and tell them that I wanted the package delivered to me home address. I did that – and then the huge father came and swallowed me. Oh my God, look at that. I meant to write fear, not father.

Same thing

I realized how not-happy I was when it all was solved. Why in the world wouldn’t I be  ecstatic  that this pattern of self sabotage at last was resolved?

The answer was obvious: almost 100% of my childhood/youth personality was identified with  the  strategies for surviving. All the ways she/I had to get use to calm the father with the fear so he did not become a dangerous demon – all that has been labeled “me.”

I now experienced the possibility of being wrong in that identification – these strategies I had told myself was me, and had experienced myself to be, and believed myself to be – if I was wrong in this, what would be left?

A huge cry came, I had to sit down. Forgiving myself for believing in this false me, this survival-construct I had made.

And in some weird way, the father and the fear is one – I think about the Course-metaphysics reminding us that we as ego think the Father/God is out to punish us because we left – and so we made up a punishing vengeful god in our image, and do our best to placate him and be “good” – just as most abused persons try to be toward their abuser, if they have to live with him/her

So these “false deliveries,” and  the demands that i pick it up, or else I would have to pay a big punishing fee, were all reflections of my childhood:

pick up those false fear thoughts, or else you will pay, and maybe even imprisoned

I can only imprison myself

I have perpetuated the punishment to stay “me”

I am willing to be wrong about the value of this – and to be shown a peaceful and playful healing process

willing to let go of the lodging of pain and fear and identity in my mind,mirrored in this body I call mine

But it is all based on false thoughts

maybe the strongest false thought is the one that tells me that I am guilty and need to be punished – the very thought of separation

remembering to laugh now

I can not lose something I never had in reality, says Blue.Just my screwed up false perception.

Yes,please

Awareness

How crystal clear this is now: the ridiculousness that the view of life, the perceptions of the story-I, should be taken seriously.

I see how I have allowed a little tortured child to be the authority  on how life and other people are to be perceived. Oh,the spell of being inside such a story, of identifying with it. There are waves of sickness and strong pains welling up now, and “I” can be with them kindly, just letting them be, and more important – allowing my Christed Self – the Self of us all – to deal with it.

It is not taken seriously, not taken personally.

I see how thwarted those story-perceptions are, how they are made from looking through distorted lenses – how this is surely “her” world – and as I am writing now, there is not even a “her” to find anywhere – just seamless sensations, sounds and images shifting within this moment.

Knowing this, life is simple: no identification, just awareness, resting in it. There is acute awareness of all of “Leelah’s” emotional quirks, and a complete allowance of letting them pass through this infinite awareness-space that embraces all.

The second all Leelah’s resistance is encountered – as sickness,pains etc – and is received in gratitude of this harmonization, they stop being nuisances.

*

I am now the proud owner of your book, I purchased it right before writing this note to you, and you know what, it feels like a “big” thing for me. If I ever needed further proof, that knowing something intellectually, and experiencing it are two vastly different states of being, then I should remember how I felt intellectually when I thought of buying your book, and how I feel now.

Reading through some initial parts of it briefly, I felt like something had shifted within me. I am not able to give it a name, but resistance is some part of it too. Like my subconscious mind knows there is healing available for me through your writing, but I want to ignore it, so I can stay the George that I am.

Luckily,, my other part of my mind knows that it is time to move further along, to turn a notch in the journey without distance to the center of my heart, and so, I am grateful for the gift of being able to buy your book today.

Love,
George

http://www.amazon.com/dp/1491219904

 

Dreams and Awakening

The Son of God cannot sin. He can have a dream about sinning, about being something God has not created – and because God’ power is within him, his dream becomes real for him.And he identifies with the  “me” and”mine” of it, and believes in it. The shame,fear and guilt that is generated is now perceived only to be alleviated by being punished. And if he can and must be punished, it follows that there must indeed exist a punisher – who is God.

He runs away. Of course. Look at him – is this the Son of God? Or is it a thought in the mind that comes from the ego thought system that springs in action when the Son believes in the Tiny Mad Idea?

Now the Son of God can hide in a dream where he can play the roles of predator or victim. And as victim, a way to feel powerful is to promise “I will never never never forgive you.”

Now he believes he IS the victim. As long as he holds on to this identity – and justifies his decision to never let the perpetrayor off the hook – he is hooked into the play. It is completely real for him, he experiences it – just as you and I, dear reader, believe that our nightdreams are real while we are dreaming them.

Now – if all these “roles” that I am playing are real, “God” must be wrong – I must have succeeded in separating myself from him.

1-0 to the ego

*

I am willing to let everybody off the hook: I hooked them up, and there is no peace in that. I am willing to let go of the addiction to guilt. I am willing to let go of the perception of good ones and bad ones, right ones and wrong ones. I am willing to see through this with Christ’s perception.

*

Then:

the feeling of “me” and “mine” vanished. There were fields of emotions and pain and fear – they were recognized not as “my” stories, just “stories”. As soon as they were felt, there was a decision to let go of any attachment to it – they were neutral energy, and dissolved quickly.  As the hours passed, I recognized psychological abuse complexes,  felt certain that these had nothing to do with the Truth of me and allowed the Christ to be the field of Love to embrace it.

How Animals Eat Their Food

 

Not a mole

The doctor showed me a thing to do if you are worried about a mole: press a glass against it – if it pales, it is not a mole at all, but an extravasation.

The relief was great

 

Attack thoughts

My book “When fear comes home to Love” is free on Amazon Kindle or tablets 9.-15. December

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00DMHYF7M

Entrance light healing

I have discovered a mole that I want to have examined. There is fear about it, and when I went out this early morning to get the paper, it was still dark and the entrance light was on. The second I was underneath it, it went out.

What a wonderful and clear symbol: fear seems to turn off the light within. Now, that is surely an impossibility – only my choice for ego/fear can do that. So I stood there, looking at the lamp, and the love welled up inside. ” This has nothing to do with me” I knew  and the light came on.

There is fear inside – and I can feel it, include it in Presence – but it has nothing to do with Self.

*

My book “When fear comes home to Love” is free on Amazon Kindle or tablets 9.-15. December

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00DMHYF7M

Conditioning breaking off

Yesterday a spiritual teacher sent a very high and loving energy. It felt so wonderful and uplifting that I listened to her tape twice.

The night was one of the worst. I prayed for help and insight, and in the morning it was suddenly clear:

The split off girl – that I have mentioned some times, particularly in the bio – has the last days come more forth. I was shown this morning that the harsh defense against love that comes each time I have a breakthrough, is nothing else than a habitual reflection to a very traumatizing split that happened again and again with her father: first, there was a loving union of minds and hearts – and then, from Heaven right into the darkest hell: something took him over and the abuse started.

Of course a child will learn to split these experiences off – but what was most awful about it was that I/she learned to see love as a signal to horror – she conditioned herself to immediately go into dissociation.

And the miracle now is that I this morning see the possibility for beauty  and healing in this: instead of the habitual conditioned disgust and hatred of  the part that defends itself so strongly and create all these pains for so many years, I can be with “her” and hold her need for defense in the heart – and in that way, stop all the judgment that makes it stay.

Twice this day did I experience “her” crying in release, when “she” was met.

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Please note that nothing written here is intended as medical advice. Readers who think that they need help with a physical or psychological condition are advised to seek a qualified opinion.

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