Judgments falling

My very root-lesson – to meet insane hateful mental/energetic attacks from men (and expect it from some of them whose energy I recognize immediately ) – is presented to me yet again. The Course tell me that every lesson that I have not mastered are presented to me until I DO see through them and master them. This is such an opportunity.

This morning I thought about Pete – a guy that last year changed from Dr.Jekyll to Mr. Hyde in mail-conversation with me  – and immediately felt the agony-energy field connected to my identification of it. “I” felt horrible. Asking Blue about it, I heard: “ Let go of the false identity-hook.”

So what I realize, is that I immediately recognize “Now the guy is in his hatred again – identifying with it.” And as soon as I mix “me” into this by reacting to it, I am caught in  my story – “a false identity-hook.” And if I now – if Pete will react this way in our correspondence again – can just recognize when he is caught in his pattern – and just allow him to be there, without trying to fix it at all – just embracing him in my mind – that might be “the lesson learned.” In that acceptance is included that  I recognize that there is no little Leelah who is being attacked – it is not little Leelah who is doing the embracing.

Before, little Leelah did the embracing – and that has attributed to the pain.

When I child believes in any way that she is responsible to save/help her parents, MORE pain is created. The child does it from love – and cannot know that its “sacrifice” leads to more suffering. It creates more suffering for itself by believing that it can “help” the parent in pain. This is “blind love”.

And I see clearly now that it is not the “false-identity-love”  that can embrace the father – it is Presence. And Presence is not there, in the child’s perception of the original trauma-situation.

But I can have that now

So if/when Pete attacks again – I may just embrace him/the situation/me in the heart, and not at all try to get him to understand.

The energy-hook is here – but it does not mean that my past is here and little Leelah is here – and it does not mean that I have failed to heal it – this completely obnoxious energy is here, and I am NOT THAT. That it repeats itself with some men, does not mean that I haven’t healed it! These situations will occur in this dimension – identification with stories happen, projections happen. That does NOT negate all the great work that I have done – and I are not  a failure for feeling the way I feel. The fruit of my work is precisely to SEE this. “AH! Good work, since I see this: I can notice what happens, I can sort out, I can distinguish what is stories and trappedness while it happens. And meet it with embrace 🙂

Freedom!

And the fun of catching when I feel really confused and trapped – to overdo it and roll around in it and have fun with it: Oh I don’t understand a shit!!!

And all that has changed in the process is simply this: there are no judgments present for the energy, for myself, for the other. Just awareness and the knowing that the only thing that is real is the knowledge that we both are as God created us – pure light

1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Mona Gustafson Affinito
    Jan 30, 2014 @ 22:47:42

    A little piece of forgiveness?

    Reply

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Please note that nothing written here is intended as medical advice. Readers who think that they need help with a physical or psychological condition are advised to seek a qualified opinion.

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