The power of my will

Skype session with Kit: the theme turns out to be judgment versus the loving choice to just BE WITH any turmoil presenting itself. Kit gives examples from childhood of insensitive mother in certain situations – and how Kit’s only need was to have them JUST listen to a deep sense of tiredness. A presence to it, without any minimizing/”comforting” it away. This situation is now repeating itself with her and her boy, by showing the same kind of insensitivity at a certain point. And what became very clear to us both is this human common habit of overriding/running over/ one’s self in order to “keep the love” from the parent.

We -our human little self – believe love can be lost – that it is conditional – and that we have to adjust to our parents expectations to keep it. No wonder we override ourselves. And if we do, our children will learn to do the same with themselves.

I think about the huge habit of nocturnal pain that I have. Someone recently helped me see that as long as a judge that oldoldoldhabit, it will stay – since I use the Holy Will that God gave me to tell myself that this pain is real and mine – and that becomes my experience.

I see why the pain grown to  intolerable proportions – because I tell myself that this pain is intolerable.

THAT is the power of my belief and my will.

Seen from above the battleground, as the Course names it, I am the sky, and all the rest is just weather. It is not personal to the Sky

it is not serious either

 

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Please note that nothing written here is intended as medical advice. Readers who think that they need help with a physical or psychological condition are advised to seek a qualified opinion.

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