I choose to be happy

 

My entrance-light has the last 2 years been operated by Jesus:) It has sensors and turns itself on when daylight vanes. When the light turns off when it is dark outside, I know it signals that something in me has lost the connection to light. Then I stand in front of it and ask, what do I need to see/hear here? Yesterday what came up was “I choose to be happy.” And there was a definitive shift inside: before I have had a belief that my choice for love and happiness has no effect – “I am doomed” was the litany in my mind – but yesterday, the light went on immediately.

It was quite dark outside, and I took a walk in the summer night. I noticed that my energy was vastly different: – everything IS perfect. I am NOT separate. Oh my God – my choice DOES have an effect!

There was Oneness with all. The apple trees were blooming, I went to the flowers and sucked their scent into me – the Deva of the Apple Tree flowed into me and blessed me. I walked a little round around the block. There was a newly planted bed of white daffodils, and I picked one. There was a strange sky; on the one side it was dark and ominous – on the other side it was kind and light and summery. I was being with these two variations of sky and included them, looking at the dark variety with wonder and innocence, as Jeshua is recommending we do in “Way of the Heart.” Then, suddenly there was a strange-looking very short man walking down the path near my house – his energy was erratic. He had a strange helmet on his head and his walk was jarred. He did not see me at all, even though I was standing in the middle of an open field. I felt an inner warning: “He is unpredictable.” And I was so aware: he did not see me. In earlier days, I was a fly-paper to such characters.

I stood in peace and took in the change. “God – I really choose to be happy.”

I went home and to bed, and had this dream:

I am in a tram with a crowd of passengers, and there is an absolutely relentless man blocking me, with a ton of hatred, contempt and disgust of me and of what I believe in. The energy around him carried the same energy as the two attacks on my house this last year – which are veiled attacks on me.I cried out to the other passengers, “Please help me – take this man away from me!” and immediately woke up.

This archetype of violence is thoroughly described in my book in the right menu: “When Fear Comes Home to Love,” with case-stories and autobiography.

I woke up, and hear myself saying: “I am not moving from this place until you show me your innocence.” Ah. He is my creation – created by unconscious guilt and fear. I went back into the dream, and he disappeared as if he was never there.

In the Course’s view, the ego’s view of God – in its upside-down perception of everything – is this monster who is out to hunt us down. And I am one of the billions who recreate this image in the form of crazy fathers and rapists and torturers in the world, so I can justify “being” the innocent victim and place my unconscious guilt outside on crazy men. In the ego’s perception, you are either innocent or guilty.

As said early in this post – now I was invisible to such a man – and I truly believe it was my choice for happiness that raised my vibrations to a such level that I was invisible to him.

I see the tremendous power God has given His Holy Son: whatever we hold as true becomes real for us in the dream we are dreaming and directing from Mind beyond time and space.

Immediately after this realization, the body started acting up with huge cramps. It felt like acidic balls of brownish hatred passing through my lower legs, and although the pain was remarkably strong, I felt gratitude: “This is my creation; it can never harm Who I am. It is leaving now.”

I am not willing to see this creation as valuable one more second. The creation has been fueled by my unwillingness to be happy.

In this moment I see the dream quality of this creation. My Self can not be harmed. The cramps changes and become electric fireworks.

If there had been no physical attacks on this house, I doubt that I would have found this pattern in the mind and been willing to release it.

Dear God, I am willing to let you take care of me now

 

 

1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Sharon
    May 20, 2014 @ 21:12:08

    Thank you for your posts! You are a beautiful Light………

    hugs

    Reply

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Please note that nothing written here is intended as medical advice. Readers who think that they need help with a physical or psychological condition are advised to seek a qualified opinion.

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