Ley’s post on Facebook today – and mirroring

For those who want a great example of how the “outer world” change when we forgive the Course-way, this is for you.

Yes, and obviously for me too – grin

Ley:Had a beautiful experience yesterday that I’d like to share with you. My son came over with his girlfriend and her 8 yr old daughter and we were having a lovely time. As the day wore on it was apparent that my son and his girl liked to play fight a lot. We were all laughing and watching them roll around, quite lighthearted and fun but then it kind of turned a bit more serious and you could see the power struggle going on between them. It more and more aggressive and no matter what I said, they just carried on and things came to a head when she kicked out at him and hit him square in the nose, accompanied by a big CRACK!

As i watched, i could see how angry he was and how worried she was at what she had done. He immediately called for pain killers and was making her feel very guilty for what she had done, telling her she had broken his nose. I could see the guilt on her face and she was saying that she felt so bad and kept apologising. He was storming around the flat, very clearly trying to calm himself down and not lash out as he was tempted to, it was all very clear.

As i was watching this, I noticed all kinds of judgements coming up in the mind. I was hearing these thoughts that were saying that this should not be happening, especially in front of a small child. Judgements came about how aggressive he was and also how aggressive she was too. There were thoughts that said she had gone too far and ones that thought she should know better than to allow her child to witness this level of aggression. They just came tumbling out of the mind, one after another. I just watched as the judgements flowed and asked spirit to watch this with me.

As I continued to watch what was going on, it suddenly became clear to me that I was watching the past. I was watching all my own judgements of similar situations playing out right in front of me. I had been a play fighter with my husband and very often it would go too far and someone would end up getting hurt (and there would be guilt). I had memories surfacing of thinking i was a bad mum for letting my children see certain things throughout their lives. I had memories of acting inappropriately in social settings, that i had felt guilt around. It all just bubbled up as i watched this display unfold in front of me. Spirit showed me that I was watching the past playing out in the present. They were all my old judgements of myself!

So instead of continuing and allowing the ego judgements to be believed, I was shown that there was another way of seeing this. No need for judgements, just recognition. I was being gifted with seeing my own guilt, right in front of me, looking like a bad situation in the dream but in reality, it was an opportunity to release and forgive all these judgements i’d had of myself. There is no one ‘outside’ of me to judge. This was my own stuff. Spirit was clearly showing me that what the body’s eyes were reporting was NOT the truth. All it took was to ask spirit to look with me and all of this unfolded and became so very clear to me. As I looked further, so many memories of the past came up, helping me to see where i had believed the judgements that ego had placed on them. I’d listened to the ego’s story and believed it and now, I could finally let that go.

It was like a tsunami of memories flooded the mind, all there asking to be healed. They were lining up to come and be heard. As I saw each one, I forgave it and forgave the whole situation in front of me too. I could see that this was indeed a HUGE gift to see what i was seeing and instead of my son leaving under a cloud of guilt or shame or even anger (or judgement from me), he left peacefully and we parted with a gentle kiss goodbye, not having designed more problems between us. It was peaceful and loving and felt so totally wonderful.(even if his nose was a little sore )

As I forgave, i could see the effect that it had on the situation. It calmed down so quickly, with us even ending up laughing about it. All i could do was sit in awe afterwards. I was just so grateful to have finally seen another huge chunk of what i had been holding in beliefs. The healing is still coming in now. Memories are flooding up to be seen with Spirit and forgiven, I am finally seeing what it was i had been hiding in the unconscious that was holding me in those patterns that told me i was a bad mum, a bad wife, a bad example, aggressive, power hungry, inappropriate.

I release all of these ideas now to spirit and know that more will come, now that I am welcoming them to my conscious mind. There’s no longer fear about allowing this to come. There is only recognition that in all the time i was resisting looking at what i truly believed about myself, all the guilt and the repressed anger and the judgements of me could come now, safely, without fear that I can’t bear to look at it. None of it was EVER true and now I’m truly beginning to see that all along i was just listening to a story that just wasn’t real. (Leelah’s formatting)

Grateful and blessed

This is what resting in God brings. I’m in!!!!

*

Dear Ley, this was really helpful! 3 situations seen through because of your post:

1)I went to the mall, had a coffee and had my first situation up for correction: a veryveryvery fat lady sat beside me, eating very fattening food. Oops judgment galore. Then she left the table – let her bag at the table. I finished my  coffee and went after her, and told her that she might not take the chance of leaving her bag there for everybody to steal. She looked right at me, smiled and said “there is nothing in it of value. I have  all my values here, with me.” – She carried her purse in her hand …

First I looked at the way I have believed that body-appearance had any thing to do with value. Oh boy. Forgave that. And remembered a very unexpected happening this morning.

I have been fasting 2 a week for a couple of months. I stated my intention to weigh 55 kilos – that’s the weight my body feels best with. Last time, 14 days ago when i stepped on that scale, the body weighed 57. I remember the way I felt when i said my decision: “I really prefer my body to weigh 55.” There was no urge there anymore.

Then I forgot the whole fasting for 14 days! The last week I have had very fattening food for at least 5 days – ice cream galore, pie,champagne:) fish swimming in cream and mango-chutney and carry  – all yum. So this morning I started the fasting again and stepped on the scales.

I had lost 4 pounds

The Course tells us that the food we eat does not fatten us – but our guilty beliefs about such food does.

*

2)Then I  encountered an old schoolmate 40 years ago. We happened to be subjected to rape by 2 Carabinieri -friends*- yes – i n  Florenz. Now we live in the same area, and she always looks down and away when we happen to meet. – What does she mirror for me? a denial of the possibility of sharing pain. We both said nothing to anybody afterwards. (We were on a study-trip as art-students.) I forgive myself for believing this happening showed a slutty character – which goes back to childhood, when I was accused of this. – Which again is so typical in abused people’s past.

Forgiven now.

*

Came home. A neighbor told me I needed to cut my lawnInside the strawI said yes and went inside – and thought, no – this little meadow is a sweet piece of art to me: I can lay in it and look through the straw and enjoy life and beauty.

So  I went out and told her it is a piece of art –  and she said, in a complete change of mind, “it is like a fairy tale – like the times when we were small and were inside things..”

I asked her if she could sit down in it so i could photo her – clear no. Mirroring: As child, I would rather be dead that photographed. As I forgave myself for judging myself for this, the sweetest peace came over me. And my neighbor turned towards me and smiled

 

 

*Policemen

 

 

4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Mona Gustafson Affinito
    Jun 11, 2014 @ 18:04:55

    Powerful!

    Reply

  2. notesofashamanstudent
    Jul 11, 2014 @ 00:39:48

    Very beautiful and so appreciated. I get so much out of your writing.

    Reply

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Please note that nothing written here is intended as medical advice. Readers who think that they need help with a physical or psychological condition are advised to seek a qualified opinion.

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