At the movies

Jesus is telling me to go watch a movie. It is playing in the early afternoon, it is a small auditorium with 7 rows.

The movie is about a young man with a painful relationship to a distant father, and he has decided to hike in the mountains in the weekend to think about what he wants to do with his relationship with his wife and son, whom he himself is distant to.

I am sitting in the far back in the movie-theater, reading a magazine before the movie starts, when I notice that suddenly a man sits in front of me. I did not notice him coming in at all. he is just there – like popped up from nothingness.

The nervous system immediately goes into alarm.Here is what I have feared so many times – alone in a movie-theater with a strange man who  may attack and rape me.

Simultaneously with these thoughts, I hear faintly Jesus reminding me that these are stories, why not choose to remain, and instead of spinning out the old familiar disaster stories, just make a silent decree:” You are a child of God. I am a child of God. I declare that there has never been anything between us that Christed Love.”

My heart calms down and  I decide to stay.

We hear the main role’s thoughts as voice-over all through the movie:  the stories he spins out and believes in. We also see him masturbate twice- nothing left to imagination – and the second time  he masturbates to a porn-clip on his IPhone. Very graphic images and sounds.

I am watching this together with a man I have never seen ,we are alone in a room. There is definitely terror going on inside – and at the same time, the impulse to not run.

The man is completely silent, makes not a move during the whole movie.

When the final texts come up, I swift as a lightening collect my clothes and walk fast out of the room, without looking at him.

It is in the middle of the night the same day that I hear Jesus:

“I placed him there. -This is the sign that your old fantasies have been forgiven and healed, my love. He was just sitting still the whole time, in peace. Not behind you, controlling you. Not beside you, pesting you. Not turning around, checking you out. Just RIGHT in front of you – a step lower that you: YOU were in control.”

There are rushes of light pouring into me and through. I am done with these stories.

Thank you, Holy Spirit









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Please note that nothing written here is intended as medical advice. Readers who think that they need help with a physical or psychological condition are advised to seek a qualified opinion.

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