A New World

Christmas eve

I am receiving an Amygdala healing, listening to an audio and allowing whatever happens to happen. At first there is a time period to allow  the ultimate vicious, deepest depraved, violent destructive hateful darkness in the mind to arise and be released. All is allowed. Then there is a ray of light that hits the Amygdala, and gradually my body and brain is filled with the calmest light

I wake up in the night and notice a remarkable shift in thinking: there is no more identification with negative fearful thoughts. I can “hear” them, but they carry no life.

I have a dream where I rescue and take care of a much tormented cat. It has eaten – digested – something – I care deeply for it, and suddenly its body convulses and it poops out the inside of a ballpoint pen.

That must have hurt! And affected free movement – and, well, everything about its catty life: wild free sexuality, the excitement of hunting, deep rest and its joy of being caressed…the cat symbolizes something deeply instinctive and alive in me. And “my” cat has digested something completely indigestible for it: that which is the essence of a pen: mental activity being expressed.

Or better said: the “supremacy” of the intellectual mind.

I love these clear dreams. And the cat is OK now 🙂

Christmas Morning, 25th: I am bundling up to go to the mountaintop close to my house to do a ritual that Jesus describes in “The Way of the Heart.” It is  dark and cold: minus 15 degrees Celsius / 5 Fahrenheit, snow, very steep climb up the trail to a point I have chosen to meet the rising sun and a new world seen with the eyes of Christ. The Ritual is about leaving the past behind and looking with Christ’s eyes at the New World.

The climbing is easy, I am enjoying each step. And there is my favorite place to look out over my village and home – and wait, there is a new signpost: “Peekout” – and it point to a new small trail further up. “I want to go there!” says my heart, and fear answers: “ No – I may miss the sunrise and the whole ritual.” The heart calmly lets me know that I know where that trail leads – up to a place where before stood a little cabin.

Still – I allow the fear voice to “win.”

I start the meditation, facing the place where the sun is rising – and receive its energy into the body, allowing it to fill the spinal column and the whole body. It feels good – but something is “off.” Still, I follow the instructions that Jesus tells us he followed in his way to mastery.

After I while, I open the eyes. The red rising sun is right in my face. I immediately decide to follow the new trail. In 3 minutes I am up there – and somebody has built this wondrous little free cabin for anybody to sit and watch the view –

Now the ego is having a field day: “You screwed up this holyholyholy initiation. You should have gone up here  at once- it was made for you  – to meet the rising sun and the new life! Now you have screwed up ultimately moron moron moron”

Oh the shoulding 🙂

The gift is: I have been reminded to follow the heart. “Follow the nudge of JOY you feel. Trust that it will take care of everything – including the time-aspect.”

I trusted instead the voice that told me I MIGHT be too late for the sunrise, following the new and unexpected trail.

I recognize how I – and most of humanity? – have allowed that warning voice, painting out disasters and failure in order to “make us safe” – to be valued.

Jesus is giggling at me, tenderly tickling my ribs. “All I want is that you are happy and extend your treasure to the world. There are no “too late’s – there is only NOW”

I go back down to my house.Time for celebration! I eat my newly smoked and roasted ham, two soft boiled eggs, bread, fresh raspberry jam and Yogi tea. Today’s tea label: “Time to leave the past behind”

Time to leave the past behindgiggle giggle giggle

Then I go out in the sunny shiny new day, up to the Peekout Shelter once again and decorate it with a little troll I have made, with the word “Now” on it.

I meet a zillion people when I go back down. I say Merry Christmas to everyone, they all smile and greet me back. What a feeling of unity it brings – this greeting each other.

1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Mona Gustafson Affinito
    Dec 28, 2014 @ 23:20:54

    I love the ultimate joyful feel …

    Reply

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Please note that nothing written here is intended as medical advice. Readers who think that they need help with a physical or psychological condition are advised to seek a qualified opinion.

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