Becoming Solid –

This is reblogged from 2 February 2012 – Becoming Liquid.I am editing the blog for publishing, and this post is so very helpful for me: I had plainly forgot that the vice around my chest is a work in progress:)

In the night, with the usual cramps and pains, the thought came: “Fear has nothing of value to give me.” I at once remembered something from Barbara’s post yesterday on Myron’s blog:

  “As I first began to see that my identity was not in all my relationships, I felt fear tighten like a vise around my heart.  As I wrote this I felt lead to look up vise.
Vise:  A vise or vice (see American and British English spelling differences) is a mechanical screw apparatus used for holding or clamping a work piece to allow work to be performed on it.
Ha!  So what we are experiencing is so a work can be performed in us.  Love it!
And as the work is performed, the vise is loosened.  And when the work is completed, the vise is removed.

(Barb is referring to The Work by Byron Katie.)

The aches and pains are very vise-like in my mind. I have drawn it many times: my head/body being held in a vise. I have lately had a pain which makes me think of cancer – and now, I erased that thought-not-made-by-God, and started to see the pain as a work in progress on my brain. I became filled with peace and gratefulness, and excitement at the process.

This brought me back to a patient’s work in progress from yesterday: A story when Grief was found to seemingly cover up a shining girl of Light. I instantly knew that this black tulle from my cupboard was to play the role of the grief.

And now we needed a symbol of the shining center – the Self:

I asked Tonya to choose an object from my big shaman-bag that could symbolize this Light-girl. Without looking, she put her hand in the bag and drew up the first object her hand found: A shiny Butterfly.

The Symbol of the Lightfilled Center

 

 

Now we put the butterfly – the symbol of transformation – under the grief-tulle:

Grief covering Light Center

We notice how transparent this grief is. Tonya is breathing easier. I remind her that a butterfly goes through a complete metamorphosis – from caterpillar to Pupa to butterfly – and at one stage, it is literally liquid: it has lost all form. I ask her to ask two questions to the objects/symbols -innocent childlike questions.

She asks the Butterfly how it knows when to become solid again – and the Butterfly says it is no problem, as she loses control, it happens from itself.

She asks the grief if it is something it wants?

It says: “I want to fly.”

And then Tonya allowed it to fly.

*

In the night, I saw myself as a work in progress, and that I saw myself becoming liquid. I want to become liquid when it comes to the pains – so that “I” don’t have to plan and do anything.

At one point, I was actually sensing a sweet softness rising from my toes through my whole body, swooning in pleasure.

T-14.III.4. Each day, each hour and minute, even each second, you are deciding between the crucifixion and the resurrection; between the ego and the Holy Spirit. 2 The ego is the choice for guilt; the Holy Spirit the choice for guiltlessness. 3 The power of decision is all that is yours. 4 What you can decide between is fixed, because there are no alternatives except truth and illusion. 5 And there is no overlap between them, because they are opposites which cannot be reconciled and cannot both be true. 6 You are guilty or guiltless, bound or free, unhappy or happy.

 

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Please note that nothing written here is intended as medical advice. Readers who think that they need help with a physical or psychological condition are advised to seek a qualified opinion.

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