Rushingrushingrushing

“The ego is your thoughts about yourself” says the Course.

This night I listened to a tape where my friend Anne – a kindred artist spirit and friend – guided me through an inner journey. When I felt stuck in the process I sensed the energy I operated from acutely in my nervous system – and I started to listen for the procedures I used: the old loved ones of interpreting, finding what symbols pointed to – and I sensed Anne’s loving energetic response to it. She allowed it without interfering – but steadfastly repeated “There is no need to rush. Jesus is there. His manner is not changed by whatever you do – he loves you unconditionally.”

What I sensed when listening to “me” on this inner journey was a strong constriction, around the heart and lungs, tensing in muscles, efforting to do it right – the one who efforts is surely not free and resting in this moment. I was graced with the ability to truly see how convulsed and controlled that way of maneuvering through the mind is – it is like that, because I am doing it on my “own” – without Christ.

This has been my survival mode all life.

To recognizing and acutely sensing its energetic imprint – and the unpleasantness of it – is so helpful!

Anne said: “Jesus is holding his hands on your head. You are sitting down with him. He says that you are rushing all the time.”

Just being still with Him now

Handing over this old pattern of being clever and doing in on my “self” – including the doubt that it can be done – asking to notice  “oh there I go again” and smile at it:)

Thy will be done, Beloved

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Please note that nothing written here is intended as medical advice. Readers who think that they need help with a physical or psychological condition are advised to seek a qualified opinion.

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