Yesterday the source of the hatred welling up in me so violently  was revealed to me:I saw the tortured child’s refuge to self-hatred as – in her thinking – the only way to keep her safe and under control in the circumstances she lived under. She obviously had to be sinful and deserving of the horrors, so hating herself felt like a step in the right direction: to change into what the others wanting her to be.She was under intense threats of death if she used her voice to speak about what happened – and with the loss of her voice, a great part of her energy field and soul disappeared/ was dissociated.
When this was made clear to me, a great wave of love and tenderness arose for my soul- and anybody trapped in that kind of  hopeless situation. I felt it like a sun warming me from inside, and something old let go and crying came in buckets.
I am sharing it here – since a lot of people have similar subconscious memories – and it is good that it comes out in the open, no more hidden and judged.
I love the delicious feeling of being unburdened as these old judgments and taboos are opened and allowed into the smile of Christ: “Thank God it is not serious – thank God it never happened in Reality.”

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Please note that nothing written here is intended as medical advice. Readers who think that they need help with a physical or psychological condition are advised to seek a qualified opinion.

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