Change of mind

Yesterday,  an alarm-technician came to fix my alarm ( the momentum it had lasted far to long when it was ignited – nice symbol 🙂 Now, as soon as a push the button the sound is over.

When that guy entered – very big he was – I felt the old fear-energy acutely. I surrendered the situation to Holy Spirit, being willing to not control anything, and I sensed the full brunt of my old fear of men and the expectation of being attacked any second. The gift was, to be present and friendly with him, AND at the same time fully present with that energy – allowing it, accepting that I had made this pattern – breathing deeply, blessing and forgiving everyone involved in all times, myself included – truly allowing the body to relax and just sensing the energy of primal fear –  and being very willing to release the belief that there is any value of holding on to this any longer.

At first, I felt so disappointed that I wasn’t having  any sense of healing and completion –  and then I felt a big calm: “That you are allowing this whole fear-archetype to come up and not judge it is the gift.”

That guy gave me some sweet smiles 🙂

Then today, the old pattern of the “grumpy old geezer” I have had playing out in my mind repeated itself with a venom. After some time I made the same decision as yesterday: I breathed what Jeshua calls “LovesBreath” ( which he instructs us  in The Jewel of the Christ Mind) – and I offered this Love to that “geezer”-part of my mind. I know that I in some lifetime, that has been me – or else I could not recognize it. I forgave again – all parts involved, in all dimensions, and I owned it as something I had chosen to experience. I felt a genuine urge to forgive and not hate it, and to share Love with it.
I went to a movie. After 10 minutes, the “geezer” energy came up again, but this time showered in light, and in the dark movie-theater I cried with all of me twice – about ten seconds each time, without a sound – and then a huge gratitude wave came on.

 

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Please note that nothing written here is intended as medical advice. Readers who think that they need help with a physical or psychological condition are advised to seek a qualified opinion.

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