Story from “When fear Comes Home to Love”

4.1 Avatar on the train / 1998

I was attending an AVATAR-course in Denmark. The last night I was living alone in the house our group had shared, and I scrubbed all the rooms. I went open-eyed into the role of Bird as the perfect helper and “good girl”, and used a huge anxiety-energy to clean. Then I slept for about two hours.

In the morning my attention was fixed in a space about 30cm to the right side of my head. I was floating in my Self: there was no separation between me or anything / anyone else. To just exist in this state of being was delicious. Walking with a heavy trunk was heaven. Sitting in the train doing nothing was exquisite. Totally aware, totally open, harmless, present.

Three young soldiers take place in the seats beside me and in front of me. One of them is bullying another, who is visibly scared and acting more and more submissive. That creates more sadistic behavior from the bully.

I decide, from the vast loving space I am in, to just take over his abusive and hateful energy. This does not seem threatening at all: I know he is not the energy he has identified with.

I allow his energy to float into me. It feels weird – but it is it and I am I.

Within the next five minutes he undergoes a transformation. The energy “Fuckeat as dominator” leaves him, and his true kindness and harmlessness emerges. He starts to kindly address the scared boy, who looks as if he has just fallen from the moon. Slowly a warmth and tenderness spreads between them. It is a wonder to observe their true nature emerge.

When they leave the train half an hour later, they look like best friends. I have witnessed a transformation.

I am not saying that this necessarily would go on. But I had witnessed – and will never forget – that beyond seemingly disgusting and brutal behavior is our true nature. The Course’s main teaching is to look with Christ’s eyes on our brothers and sisters. By refusing to see his disgusting behavior as who he was, by not judging him, he was free.

And so was I.

If we are coming from the Self, we will be able to see with Christ’s eyes. When we are not able to come from that Place, we will have to play within the rules of conditional love: setting borders, respecting ourselves and the other.

When you read the Fuckeat-stories, I suggest that you notice what defeats him. That is important knowledge you may use when you meet the next Fuckeat in your life.

Exercise: seeing with the eyes of love

In your mind, place the person you have issues with in front of you. Instead of your perception of him as your “enemy,” look for beauty in any form at all – and look with kindness, as if s/he is just wearing a costume, and you are looking to find the true Light within. If all the perceived guilt slid off – how would s/he look?

Ask to be shown what is truth about him/her. When you have found it, bless it. What you are blessing in him/her, you strengthen in yourself.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Please note that nothing written here is intended as medical advice. Readers who think that they need help with a physical or psychological condition are advised to seek a qualified opinion.

%d bloggers like this: