Dragons and peace

Filled with morning depression and toxicity,I put my feet on the floor, closed my eyes, took a deep breath and asked myself ” What do I really desire right now?”

First thought: To not feel like I feel this moment

No. Go further:

To feel at peace with whatever is.

And with that thought, my life flowed in pure joy for many hours – until a thought come, that was rooted in fear – ” I need a chocolate.”

Really Leelah? NEED? which Leelah needs it – the inner child that believes she needs comfort – that she even deserves it?

yes yes I know this is ego but I still am going to buy it

And I bought it and judged myself for it

and right now I can feel at peace with all of that

*

I also want to share an exercise from my book “Healing Crisis: 108 ways to turn crises into possibilities.” I used it this night, when the depression and stress level was sky-high, and it really helped.

Here it is:

THE MONSTER-HEALING-STORY[1]

If this crisis/anxiety/problem/depression/illness was a type of weather – what would it be? What kind of landscape would it be? –and now, if it was a monster, how would it look? How heavy would it be? Would it look like a human or an animal – or like something you never saw before in your whole life? What sounds would it make? What kind of food would it like? What would be its most treasured pet? Its favorite activity? Where would it go for vacation? What would it DO on vacation, when it didn’t have to do its old usual stuff? What could it not live without? How old is it?

-Can you pain or sculpt this being? If the thought is too scary – what could make it less scary? –now find its soft spot. Monsters always have them. What would it answer if you ask it ”what do you need the most?”

Now –you do not have to conquer the monster. Invent a being who can and will outsmart it or transform it. What kind of being would THIS be? This being could have all the attributes you wish – supernatural and magic, if you want. And please, bring in some magical ingredients: The Sword Who Transforms, The Stone Who make People Laugh, The Staff Which Melts Dragons…have FUN with it, play with it – and dis-create whatever you create, if you do not like it.

And – the talent(s) the hero/in has – could you use those in your crisis? What would happen if you did?

[1] Source for this exercise: Nancy Mellon: Storytelling and the Art of Imagination/ Element Books

 

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Please note that nothing written here is intended as medical advice. Readers who think that they need help with a physical or psychological condition are advised to seek a qualified opinion.

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