people pleasing – and being genuine


On my photo trip today…new snow, quite gray and quiet – I was listening to Jennifer McLean instructing us in a Spontaneous Transformation process, where we would spot an emotion and finding it inside the body. I spoke out loud: Its in the middle of my chest, and my feet disappeared up in the air and BANG.

At the same time, I sensed the anger of “that” in the chest – it did NOT want to be found, or “messed with” as it called it. I immediately felt a wave of tenderness and told it I was HERE for it, and i saw how territorial it was, how super strong it had had to protect this area/trauma.

There came a huge crying from that part – a release of having been found and NOT being in trouble for that.

And then it simply fell asleep – relaxing for the first time in aeons maybe.

Then I took a photo, where all the photo gods assisted:

imgp0465At home, the aspect woke up and we went through the process

I am so very grateful for this Spontaneous Transformation Training I have taken. SO simple, so effective.

The warehouse of support

Jennifer McLean speaks about “The warehouse of support” in her last program: 5 Power Attunements.

I have started a new habit – for each week to write down a support somebody gave me. And today I noticed that its not about noticing synchronicity any more – everything is supporting me, being meaningful.

Feel free to laugh! Loudly! But my white Amaryllis supports me in showing how i don’t rest, I just grow grow grow so much and so fast that the flowers withers inside the buds, (I opened one to look) and the stem is 13 inches long. And hollow, as I noticed when I cut one down to give the other flower more power.

I understood this when I talked to it and told it to cool down –  its is the flowers that I want to see, not the great length of those stems.

Hollow! what a metaphore

I need to rest.

Being with where i am and how i feel, allowing myself to be nurtured.


I think I am going to buy a new Amaryllis.

So – I went to the nearest mall – or warehouse  – bought groceries – walked back across a field with a sledging hill. The sledging hill was part of the path, so I walked it, noticing 3 children at the top, waiting with their toboggans.. A miniature sledger, about 2 years,  looking me angry in the face, wanted to know how I had the gall to walk up their sledging hill.

They are playing. I am limiting their play – I am in the way.

My intellect/achieving part is in the way of


I still have a lot of beliefs about the importance of being useful and good – and I make the players wait while i walk it

Priorities, Mrs Saachi! In any spiritual path, seriousness about it prolongs the path

OK then

This is from a game I play on an author-forum: one of us gives an altered phrase, and then any of us can offer an explanation. The sillier the better.

The Old Man and the Pea

When Ernest was about four, he already composed verses. Like this:
My old man he has a knee,
and he is very fond of tea,
and when he eats his little pea
he does it to avoid the flea.
This poem was cited very very often during the years that follow, until his father one day said, exasperated, forgodssakeErnie, can’t you rather write  about an old man and the sea instead.. Ernie resisted until he was 59 years old. He just didn’t like to be told what to do.



More door-bell signals

I was working with my tax form, and sensed a panic arising. The door-bell sounded. AHA! Door-bell = ALARM…there is an alarm-energy in me when it comes to being “accountable” and PERFECT and trustworthy for the authorities, or else I will be put in jail ( believes little Leelah.)  Make no mistakes, in other words!

When the bell sounds, I immediately sense the alarm AS energy. I am fully present for it, and it is sheer heaven!

I enjoy it fully, and then go back to my account. – Within 5 seconds, the bell sounds again!

Showing me how strong that “going into alarm-habit” is.

This time I put the papers away and just SIT with it.

Went for a long walk, and the release was there all the time



Please note that nothing written here is intended as medical advice. Readers who think that they need help with a physical or psychological condition are advised to seek a qualified opinion.

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