The Big Troll

I saw inside my mind “The Collective Controller” today – that I have called “MY” controller – and I realized that I have projected it as something I am a victim of, seemingly outside of me, seeing it as an enemy wanting the very worst for me – something I  therefore have fought and judged.

So it of course turns out to be the part in me that I/we all/established in order to be able to grow up keeping as much sanity as possible – and how vehemently I/we all/ had to push all that was not allowed/wanted/ all the way into deep blackness.

And the more we hate it, the deeper and darker it grows.

I have a strong feeling I already have written something very much like this before in this blog – and it is interesting for me to see that it still feels like this is the first time.

The thing is of course to do the only sane thing: listen to its beliefs and the feeling underneath it and assist it in expressing them. And the more allowance I gave it to do that, the more of the underlying Christ-light poured forth.

Stopping in stopping the protection – seeing its underlying need to help us be loved in the only way permitted when we grew up.

And now I can fully bless all of it in tremendous gratitude

 

 

 

3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Mona Gustafson Affinito
    Jun 22, 2018 @ 22:03:31

    I can’t help commenting on the fact that it takes so many new “Awarenesses” to finally incorporate the discovery fully, like climbing a ladder to the cozy room of safety at the top.

    Reply

    • leelah saachi
      Jun 22, 2018 @ 22:23:42

      For me, it a process that I feel very comfortable with – it feels organic for MY soul – it faithfully tracks the traces that leaves me back to the first time I accepted separation as a TRUTH and fact – and being there, I can choose again – for love

      Reply

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