Weak Signals

Last teaching from the Universe 🙂

Signal on my TV – “weak signal – or none.”

As my readers will know, I live from the  Course in Miracles – saying that the Universe mirrors what is inside me. So weak signal refers to me  that I am not getting the full signal from Source. And that I believe: almost 3 weeks with really painful coughing and weak lungs i fell pretty rotten and weak and not ALIGNED 🙂

So at last I got a repairman from the Telephone/ Internet- provider. He gave me one look, and then grabbed the TV remote control – and clicked open “Source.”

And I had under Source ticked off TV instead of main source…

He clicked on Main Source and all was crystal clear

Most of the time in the biggest agony, there has NOT been an awareness that it is possible to CHOOSE Main Source / God. There has been much bickering and complaints of “dear  Jesus please help me, help me breathe” etc – I have been sucked up and identified with the illness

and I am NOT the illness,

it is there FOR me – now to choose to rest in God WITH it and allow God to do that through me. Finding old old childparts that simply chose to breathe only shallowly to prevent feelings and awareness.

Now I could just BE with her and her feelings -and the lungs opened,

So now the TV AND I am put on Source again.

There is a big tiredness after this ordeal – but it is held now by Love

May you all have a beautiful Christmas!

Holding Others’ Energy

Here is a chapter fro my book “When Fear Comes Home to Love” – see the right menu. When I still had patients, this theme repeated itself for some weeks, so I could find it and name it. And this night I used what I learned at that time to release to my deceased mother’s soul a big bunch of trauma/accumulated repressed stuff.

I have for a week or so had a lung-illness that I thought were going to take my life. Coughing felt dangerous and raw. I asked many times “who does this belong to?” and my mother came up – and today I at last took it serious and called her soul forth, and returned the energy to her with my blessings.

Afterwards, the lungs feel very different. I still cough, but there is nothing threatening about it.

I thought I would post here one of the chapters from WFCHtL – since I experience that many of us do this as a loyalty to our  family  and loved ones – and for me, it has meant that I never really knew what was ME and what was her.

Here is the chapter:

4.1 The gout that was fear /1992

Eric is on the phone:

“I have got this terrible pain in my foot… it has swollen, it takes all of my attention. I can’t come to session today.”

“Do you want to take the session on phone?”

“I think it hurts too much, I can’t concentrate on anything but the foot.”

“What if that foot carried a painful memory. Could we use the opportunity and see what the pain is a metaphor of?”

“OK. I’ll call at 3pm.”

“Fine. Till then.”

*

“How did the pain come into being?”

“It started yesterday… it swelled, it is kind of an inflammation…. I have had this once before, and the doctor said it was gout… it is a bit embarrassing, gout is what older men may get In this moment I recognize and connect the energy to Eric’s grandfather. He died thirty years ago, but in Eric’s’ mind and soul his memory has still a strong effect, and carries with it a sense of horror that makes Eric split off a part of himself.

“Eric – when you speak about the pain in the foot, I get in touch with the energy from your grandfather. Could this pain have something to do with him?”

“I feel cold shivers down my spine!”

“Shall we look closer into this?”

“Yes. I want that.”

“Close your eyes. Allow your consciousness to sink down into your heart…your hands…let it  pass from one hand to the other…note that you choose where to put your attention, you decide, you are the authority…now shift focus – let the awareness go to a place in your body which feels good.”

“…That is my belly. It is absolutely delicious there.”

“Good – let the consciousness go there, rest there a while… let it expand. If you want, allow this delicious energy to follow your consciousness down into the pain in the foot, so the deliciousness can wrap itself safely about the pain… surrounding the pain with love, warmth, support.”

“I am doing it now.”

“And now be aware of everything you are experiencing while focusing on the painful foot: inner images, memories, colors, forms, sounds – all is relevant as long as you focus on the foot, and your intention is clear. – Oops- we forgot that one. What is your intention with this?”

“My intention is to come closer to the pain and fear within the foot to release it! – I see a bonfire… I see the yard by my mother’s childhood- home … my grandpa is lying at the one big window, he is dying… I and my cousin are peeping through the window and see him lying there, and I sense a strong and ominous fear.”

In this moment I see “something” release itself from Grandpa’s psyche; float out through the window and into Eric.

“Eric – it looks to me as something from Grandpa’s fear came into you, and that the ominous fear you are feeling is coming from him. Could this be the right time to let it go?”

Eric is crying.

“I see it! And I see that what I feared most, I took into myself and made mine – because I could more easily control it when it was inside me!”

“What kind of pay-off have you had from this?”

“It has been a way for me to protect myself.”

This I recognize from my own life: by taking over mother’s and father’s split off soul-fragments and take them into myself, I got a sense of control that seemed life-important for me at that time.

“Now I see what is behind his fear: I see a little boy, it is Grandpa as child – he is scared to death of going insane, he is franticly scared of not getting out of what feels like a prison. It looks like he is sitting inside a box. It is very narrow.”

“Do you want to go on carrying him inside any longer?”

“No – Grandpa shall have him back.”

“Anything you want to tell the boy, before you part?”

“We thank each other. I have needed him, he thanks me for letting him stay with me since Grandpa died, so he wasn’t homeless.”

Eric breathes deeply when he is being thanked by the little boy.

“Is he ready to go home to Grandpa, Eric?”

“There must come somebody to follow him, he says – there comes Grandpa! A big and loving angel is following him. I open the door to the box where he is sitting, and he runs straight to Grandpa who receives him… they go into the light now – they are melting into one…!”

Pause

“Now I am completely present. Right here. Now I am only Eric.”

Three days later he calls: the gout has almost disappeared.

UPSIDE DOWN

Christmas crib made by girl 7 years old

This is a tiny crib made  by my daughter when she was 7. Plasticine figures – the crib is one inch, both Joseph in red and the bull has lost a leg, the glass angel has lost her lower part – but we can mend that with imagination (and a little glue.)

Yesterday, when i put the crib up, I shocked noticed that the tiny Christ figure missed!!!!!! Instantly a wave of guilt washed over me: Oh no oh no oh no I was not worthy of this miniature wonder I had forfeited my chances for Heaven etc etc.

Then I remembered – I am the Holy Child of God and gave thanks that I would find that little modeled Jesus – 8mm long –

As I placed the crib, I found myself turning the crib around –

and there He was LOL

I had seen it all upside down

Just as A Course of Miracles teaches 🙂

Christmas Crib made by girl 7 years old

Here is the crib, upside down

***

Another thing, upside down:

I recently sent HILARYON STORIES ( see right menu) to a dear friend – 83 years old. He is a pastor/clergyman, and was a close friend of my brother, I sort of grew up with him very close. He also was/is tall and dark haired and beautiful and kind and…my kind of hero. He wanted to read my book  so I sent it to him – and today he phoned me and said that he reads it each evening – and “it makes me calm.”

Slowly it dawns on me – it IS guided by Love.

How scary to write it down – just so.

But it is obviously true – the reader in my last post said so too: it is healing.

Please note that nothing written here is intended as medical advice. Readers who think that they need help with a physical or psychological condition are advised to seek a qualified opinion.

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