The Queen of Chameleons

The closed-off room

The fear of taking space – for my self

I closed it off when I had to, to adjust instead.

Inside that room was a compressing machine,

doing a truly magnificent job. The stuff that could have

joyed up a whole world now compressed into

one quadrate centimeter closed-off self

of atomic bomb power.

I closed the room and lived outside it as the Queen of Chameleons.

A true master: emerald green head yellow gold paws and violet/blue tail

***

This just came in to my mailbox – from Educare

There is an Order to life

It is not your job to create the Order.
It is your job to yield to It.
Observe, listen, accept and follow.
*

Thank you! All traumatized parts try to create order and sense. Now I have seen her and loved her -and maybe Poetry can do the rest?

 

Old gunk in the cells

I have an intolerable inner itching all over the body. Sensing into it, it hisses and hates. Immediately I recognize it as a signal for a radical choice: turn around and bless it. Accept it. Allow it to breathe and express – let it realize it will be heard and not condemned and judged.

A big room opens at my choice. I am lying in the dark for hours of this outpouring of hatred and hopelessness. I see that my worst experiences with ghosts and demons – those energies, from those souls that decide to stay on this plane after their death – they are here now to be SEEN and accepted and helped.

I did a lot of work with this ca 30 years ago – but then I had a belief that they were somehow doomed and less than me – “they must have done something terrible and this is their punishment” or something like that.

Long time ago I spent the night on an old farm, and it swarmed with ghosts and base, mean energies. Thank God there was a woman there who was NOT afraid, and we went from room to room and called out the ghosts to see the light and return to where they came from. I certainly saw them as something outside of “me.” Not anymore: we create these ghost-like lost beings by violently deciding against looking at them with love,

In the night, I thanked them all for not giving up trying to get me to SEE them with love. I saw that it was my violent resistance to these energies that demonized them. The shift in frequency was remarkable.

This hatred in my mind – there was never given SPACE for it. It was pressured together into a little stone hard ball, it could not even breathe in there. No wonder its rage was explosive.

I forgive all the ghosts that I have fed with resistance and judgments. I forgive all the parents in all incarnations I have had who never have dared to look at this inside themselves. I can now clearly see the same God essence in all – and how by our false perception we pervert it and make it into hate.  Help me realize how important it is to SEE and acknowledge this original hate and give it space to BE and to be seen.

I let go of the thought that I have been unjustly treated – that I am evil – that there is something wrong about me –

I remember our cat, Cleo – she had been rejected by her mother, so we got her when she was only three weeks old. She walked the top of the sofa behind us and hissed and growled, and I understood that she mirrored something in me. Oh yes. Now, 30 years later, I can see the depth of that hidden rage – never been allowed to be a child (or kitten )– with  a stable and safe-feeling mother.

I choose to allow Love to FLOW into all of this. I forgive all the roles I have played. I breathe the breath of Christ into all of it. May Grace take over.

*

After this I have a dream about a horse – free, wild, running just to run free and wild – it is its nature – its horsepower.  My breath is deep and free as I see my inner horsepower free. This is what we access when we have walked through our guarded rooms to the jewel inside.

Then I was given a wild dog called Tycho. That is Greek and means good luck – and hitting the mark. It also means having a good backbone

Next day and night the itching is back – and this time it is about shame. All the ways I have been taught to call myself shameful for acts or thoughts I have taken over from others. How beautiful to now be able to be the welcome and embrace of all those thoughts and energies, and finding the God- essence inside all of them.

Without the “me” and “mine” attached to them, it is just neutral energy, calling for love.

 

 

FOCUS

The process is calling LOUD out that I FOCUS on what I will do. This obviously has to do with healing my addiction to confusion as an excellent separation-gig.

So today I chose to look into the mail for a message I was waiting for – and it was not there – so I automatically and thoughtlessly logged into an author forum –  and soon felt very stressed. STILL, I stayed there and played for a while.

Then I logged off -and after some minutes I noticed that the radio automatic had changed from Swedish Classical Music to Norway p 1.(Main channel.)

My energy had switched from the higher frequency of classical music to the”main channel” which I from now on see as the ego-channel 😊

Another beautiful teaching yesterday: lately, ZOOM has steadfastly alleged that I my identity is not VALID. After having struggled with that for 2 days, I went to the Zoom on my desktop and opened it as “administrator.” I stated out loud: I know my identify as the Holy Child of God – and still I have to use the ID numbers you (Zoom) has given me.

Then it accepted the numbers and let me in.

And because I did NOT focus when I pasted this post from Word – the whole doc came out with a line all through all lines. – I saw that I had NOT focused when I logged on – and instead of focusing, I just nodded OK ( but did not TAKE TIME) and the line-through went right through Holy Child of God.

Oh hilarious! And the most beautiful is that I do not feel any guilt for it – just giggles

***************

And now to something really important ( if you are still here?)

I invite you to take a peek into When Fear Comes Home to Love – look into the reviews and you will see what it is about. If you have been attracted to this blog, it will be for you.

And so will the two other books of course.

 

SPRING CLEANING

The last days, at ca 3pm cest, a huge field of consciousness takes me over, and I start getting thoughts and beliefs: I NEED TO DO SOMETHING

A friend messaged me the same – and that helped me SEE and recognize the invisible belief behind that enormous wave of consciousness

So I wondered about this and found a collective human thought- and as all collective thoughts, it is about God and we being guilty and sinful and needing punishment to pay off that guilt. And that God is not my God, but ancient parts of me believe in him, and I bet these ancient parts are alive in you too

The may be stuck cozily into a room that is named “silliness – I am a rational being, there IS no God” or this room: “ I must do The Right Things-or else” ( what the heck IS The Right Things?) –

Or this room: “God is out to get me – I am full of unnameable sh*t. I MUST not know what I have done, it will be the end of me. “

Yes, and this room:- “ there is nothing I CAN do. But I must DO something!”

The rooms are all splendidly convincingly furnitured and decorated by the ego – the masterdesigner.In some of my rooms I have to roam through endless labyrinths to the toilet – which then is shockfull of sewage.  Since one of my old beliefs is “nobody will listen to me, I have nowhere to dispose of my sh*t.”

 You will have your own rooms, my friend – as long as we believe ourselves to be separate, there will be guilt.

NOW the Corona virus has brought it up in us all to be noticed. That is a good thing: NOW I can look about and wonder how to relate to it with curiosity and wonder:

I wonder how I could draw this energy? Paint it? Allow random words to come from it – place them together in a poesy structure? How could I allow it to move my body?

When we are caught in the belief, we suffer. When we relate to it – in wonder, we are free and creative. We all have that opportunity NOW.

If you answer “ That will NOT help, I will NOT try AND be disappointed” that is just a thought too –  isn’t it?

After having worked with people since 1988 in this way, I know it DOES work, and it has nothing to do with being clever and artistic – just a little willingness to put away these disaster- thoughts for a while, and just play.

We have them, they are not who we are.

Here is a poem I wrote recently – it is a mirror poem, readable from both sides. My friend told me it helped her, so here it is.

SPRINGSONG / 17.4.20

When you don’t know where to go and what to do

sit down and do nothing.

Breathe the calm unfluttering air

and watch the blackbird sucking it all in and swallow it.

Then allow the song to be exhaled in a musical way

 

while you look at a little boy

and watch the happy dog running over the green green field

then get up and breathe that song back inside

you did a great job indeed,

tell yourself that you did a great job

breathing that joyful song out

 

Breathing that joyful song out

tell yourself that you did a great job

you did a great job indeed,

then get up and breathe that song back inside

and watch the happy dog running over the green green field

while you look at a little boy

 

Then allow the song to be exhaled in a musical way

and watch the blackbird sucking it all in and swallow it.

Breathe the calm unfluttering air

 sit down and do nothing.

When you don’t know where to go and what to do

 

For those who are interested in playful non-demanding exercises to deal with fear and resistance, I have written a book just for this times:

Healing Crisis – 108 ways to turn Crises into Possibilities

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Surrender

Happy Easter and Passover, all!

What a lovely word – Passover. What if humanity is truly passing over an old old schism in these Coronadays – forcing us ( helping us) to change our perception from fear to love – choosing love as our preferenced filter to look at anything – the Coronavirus in particular.

Some of us have the strange habit of choosing to welcome whatever illness that comes to us. I have learned this from my beautiful friend Leni.

So I welcomed the Coronavirus to say hi. I saw her as the epitome of Femininity – and that her intention with arriving now, was to manifest deep change in our outmoded fear based thinking. I personally notice the ways she makes it more difficult to breathe – I already have lungs that have a weakness, and deep breathing brings up feelings. When we don’t breathe fully, all those old pesky feelings can go downstairs and compromise our immune system.

Now most of us will be visited by what we have pushed down – and that will teach us how to shift our outmoded thought system thoroughly.

Lately I have had most of the symptoms – except fever, which I almost never have. I have felt my lungs contract when in a fear based state of mind – sensing the C-presence-  and as soon as I have reminded myself that I am Spirit, created in the image of Source, the breathing gets OK again. Then I have actually seen the image of the Corona smile at me. Saying gently: resisting makes it real for you. Surrender to me – like now – and you will flow through.

I know that surrender to it does NOT mean saying ” Oh it is not use, it is deadly, it is much stronger than me blah blah.” Surrender – to me –  means:

It is here to teach me something – to give me a gift. Please show me the gift – and I surrender to what is shown to me.

Take it or leave it folks:) I am not here to tell you what to do, but to share what works for me.

And for that reason, I will share here some reviews of my book “When Fear Comes Home to Love” – (look in the right menu)  since my readers here may just have something in common with  the way I think and feel and vibrate 🙂

I have choose some of the shorter ones.

Feather

5.0 out of 5 stars Pure Love 

Reviewed in Germany on 8 June 2016

Verified Purchase

*

Gr8fulme1
5.0 out of 5 stars Healing Old Wounds

Reviewed in the United States on 22 May 2014

Verified Purchase

 

 

Miracle

The last day the fear returned with a vengeance. I prayed deeply to be free of the sticky attachment to all of it – and suddenly, it was gone.

The fear energy still is here – but it now feels like a dummy- love bursts through. It does not matter anymore. From this state of mind there is only rest.

My young friend Leni Dubel just wrote on Facebook that illnesses are beings – messengers – they come to heal. Many cancer patients know this deeply after a while – by going through it, there are shining insights. My strongest experience as a breast cancer patient 15 years ago was that I learned that my choice is everything:

I was under the radiation machine, it was the 12th day and the nipple was badly bruised – it seemed that it was rotting and drying up. I heard myself exclaim: Archangel Michael, I want your rays to go through this machine instead of the x-rays.

In that very moment, there was a great Light and I knew without doubt that my prayer had been fulfilled.

From that moment, the effects of the machine-radiation reversed, and the breast returned to it original healed state of being. I also knew that there were no more signs of cancer.

What if I got that cancer to get to that moment – KNOWING that Spirit heals all if I CHOOSE it?

It seems to me that Cancer made it possible for me to get to that moment where I took that chance to ask for help from Spirit, being willing to suspend any beliefs that the body’s illnesses and pain were more powerful that Spirit. It was a huge leap of faith for me, and it was instantly answered.

The strangest and most wonderful surprise for me is that I still feel that fear-energy strongly – but it really has nothing to do with me. I can  hold it, or just let it be, and I c an bless anybody in this fear and agony in their ability to choose love instead.

This is said with the utmost tenderness for all who says ” but I DO choose Love, and nothing happens.”

This was my experience for many years – and it brought me to explore all those parts of me who were selfhating and bitter and filled with vengeance. Carrie Triffet showed me in her last book “The Frickin Map is Upside Down” how important it is to LOVE them just as they are – no fixing – loving them WITH their hatred, with deep patience and compassion – loving them as they are. And as A Course in Miracles says – ” we cannot heal what we still have not accepted and loved.”

I don’t love the hatred. I love the part who hates.

*******

In the right menu you will find my three books. In these days, my book ” Healing Crisis – 108 ways to turn crises into possibilities” can give you creative playful means to deal with the fear and transform your regulations to it. Like this one:

54) YOUR ANCHOR

What served as an anchor for you when you were a child? What did you ”come home to” – inside yourself or outside? Maybe a favorite day-dream – do you remember the theme? Pets? Music? Nature? Reading? Walking? Making art?  Knitting? Wood-work?

Contemplating this anchor –why was it an anchor?  WHAT is it that was – and is – such a nourishment and comfort for you?

How could you use this anchor now, during the crisis?

(Source of inspiration:

Serge Kahili King, PH.D. http://www.huna.net/

and this:

108 GROUNDING / OVERWHELM[1]

Walk around in the room: point at objects and name them out loud. Do it until you start feeling that you are inside yourself. Then do a variation: point at a thing and name it something else: point at pillow and name it cheese, point at a TV and name it flower, point at the table and name it circus…the dog comes in, and you name her sunshine. Do this for at least ten minutes, and then sit down and see if you can remember some of the new names you invented.

The exercise has a wonderful ability to ground us, shove us out of rigid control-modes and let us laugh – and then, additionally, allow the subconscious to show us what it plays with. Right now.

When we are in a crisis, we are also stuck in a rigidly controlled space. When we are stuck inside it, everything we do or think is perceived through a veil of mistaken identity: I AM that which suffers. To break through this false identity gives you a new footing: suddenly you can see yourself AND the crisis – but you are no longer caught in it. Exercises like this one push you out in free air: yes, there is a crisis in your life right now – but there is also play and creativity.

And you might also enjoy re-naming your crisis, too – ! Instead of” crisis,” you might try out “popcorn.”

“I am in a deep popcorn right now.”

Did you giggle just a little?

 

[1]  Source of inspiration for this exercise: Keith Johnstone: Improvisation and the Theatre
©1979, Methuen Publishing, London

http://www.keithjohnstone.com/main.aspx?id=73

 

 

 

Changing how we perceive the Coruna virus

For those who do not know me so well – I am an artist, writer and Expressive Arts Therapist, and I teach A Course In Miracles, give Past life-regressions and more.

Lately I started a group – CorUno – meaning the One Heart we all share – where the purpose of the group was to  re-imagine the components of the virus in a purely loving and friendly way. My intention with this was:

Since we are all parts of ONE mind, we all have the power to interpret the component in the Coruna Virus any way we like. AND when we make a new interpretation, something happens within our self – and within our nervous system, where our fear may create havoc these days.

Here is the image of the virus – and below are the offerings so far:

OFFERING –

As you listed those colours in the virus I immediately thought of the colours ascribed to the alchemical process – usually black, red, white (or gold – which I prefer to white) – I guess the gray is a light black (?) – it sure feels like it could be an alchemical process! 🖤❤️🧡

OFFERING

I’m having quite a journey with the visualisations. I gave up looking at the virus from a distance and instead allowed it to approach me. This morning it felt like I was sitting inside it, like inside a chrysalis (puppe). Once I surrendered to it, it felt, and still feels, very calm, peaceful, slow, and the only and perfect place to be right now ❤️🙏

OFFERING

The image that came up for me was a sunflower. So I looked up the meaning of sunflower: “The sunflower puts itself in position to directly receive the sun’s gaze. It symbolizes faith and adoration for ALL that is, because of this the sunflower is often regarded as a very spiritual flower. They are therefore a symbol of true faith and loyalty to something that is much bigger and brighter than themselves. “. Now isn’t that a good reminder 🌼

OFFERING

Hello There – when Leelah asked for visualisations my mind emptied but nothing came, except to imagine the virus smiling at me – it felt quite ‘innocent’ and peaceful – still does 🥰

OFFERING

I see all the dots as different musical notes of harmony. Some are flute notes, others are harp and violin. All represent universal love and healing. Listen. Listen. We are loved.

OFFERING
This morning I saw – without even intending to – the red dots as small children holding sacred fires in their hands, the fires were in bowls of gold. The babies were then sitting in a circle that surrounded the image. I heard the babies’ happy voices, and I still get shivers when i describe the holiness of it all. The yellow dots were all fuzzy baby birds – chicken, ducks, I don’t know – the gray was silk, and it emanated tenderness and protection. The white was snow lanterns – very soon we will see them as light filled.

I invite you to LISTEN to the sounds emanating from this image – they feels like blessings

OFFERING

I feel calm and relaxed, more than I have felt in a long time. It is as though the virus has released the heavy tension I have had in my body for many years. In spite of the serious situation, I can see the future «as bright that I have to wear shades»!

OFFERING

A luminous colored sphere glows and moves above my head. The red lights move in space and I dance below and feel joyful and free 🌺

OFFERING

I saw a beautiful rose unfolding, transforming into paper fireworks in many colours, and abundance gently raining down on the whole world. I felt oneness and connection. And I saw white figures all connected to both the earth and the sky, all being lifted up, some just a bit above the ground, and a few all the way up to heaven. I felt deep peace and grounding.

OFFERING

This is what came through me as my visualization-experience:

I am looking at a circular pond in the center of a young birch wood. There are red lotuses in the pond, and the flowers are open so I can see that there are happy newborn babies lying in the flowers – softly undulating in the blue water.

A circle of mothers are sitting around the pond, looking at the babies with radiant expectation. The babies are now floating toward their mothers and being received with intense happiness.

OFFERING

Last night the Coruna image came to me without calling for it. It felt like The Divine Mother opening her arms, inviting me to see that One Heart we all share that beats in all things – and then of course in the Covid-19 too. I relaxed, and seemed to be in a vast and friendly wood, and these trees were all standing  around me waiting to love me – as soon as I was willing to see the virus with love and not believe all the fear propaganda.

***************************************

Many years ago I wrote a little book: Healing Crisis – 108 ways to change crises into possibilities. You see it in the right menu – click on image for more information and several reviews from people it has helped. In case you would like to have 108 creative and simple exercises to heal your mind of the viral fear going on right now – and step into a playful loving way of relating to your mind, I invite you to take a peak.

And here is  a short taste from the book:

14) THE SAFE PLACE

Sit comfortably, or lay down. You might want a blanket. Close your eyes – and start creating your safe place. It can be outside or inside – it might exist already – in your dreams, in a film, in a memory, in a painting. Perhaps you already have invented this place when you were a child? Now you can CHOOSE among the ingredients you loved the most from various sources, or create it totally new. Maybe it comes to you if you invite it into your mind? What would you need and want to be there? What smells and sounds would you like to be there? What animals or birds? Colors? Landscape? Angel maybe?

Take the time to really experience your safe place. Experience your body and your breath. Stay there as long as you want. You can return anytime you want – and no-one is allowed to enter unless you invite them.

A  5-star review by Jed Oliver

Reviewed in the United States on July 3, 2013

 

 

 

 

Being with it

I was having a dream with much awkward nakedness and acts and not pleasurable feelings- yiiikes – and woke up and told myself it comes to be released. So I breathed and was with it – and after 3-4 minutes the Light came.

Then I fell asleep again and had this short vision: a vase with beautiful fresh wildflowers stands on the floor in the living room. I say out loud: Who came with this? and a short and stout man with dark boots and little wings on the boots floats down to me and says ” they came from God.” He looks like a plumber – but it is Hermes the messenger of course plumbing his way through my nervous system/energybody and saluting me for at last BEING with all in gratitude.

No more having to find out “where it came from.” Just breathing and being there, curious.

Oh what a wonderful spiritual practice I have! How trustworthy!

Have a great day, all

Weak Signals

Last teaching from the Universe 🙂

Signal on my TV – “weak signal – or none.”

As my readers will know, I live from the  Course in Miracles – saying that the Universe mirrors what is inside me. So weak signal refers to me  that I am not getting the full signal from Source. And that I believe: almost 3 weeks with really painful coughing and weak lungs i fell pretty rotten and weak and not ALIGNED 🙂

So at last I got a repairman from the Telephone/ Internet- provider. He gave me one look, and then grabbed the TV remote control – and clicked open “Source.”

And I had under Source ticked off TV instead of main source…

He clicked on Main Source and all was crystal clear

Most of the time in the biggest agony, there has NOT been an awareness that it is possible to CHOOSE Main Source / God. There has been much bickering and complaints of “dear  Jesus please help me, help me breathe” etc – I have been sucked up and identified with the illness

and I am NOT the illness,

it is there FOR me – now to choose to rest in God WITH it and allow God to do that through me. Finding old old childparts that simply chose to breathe only shallowly to prevent feelings and awareness.

Now I could just BE with her and her feelings -and the lungs opened,

So now the TV AND I am put on Source again.

There is a big tiredness after this ordeal – but it is held now by Love

May you all have a beautiful Christmas!

UPSIDE DOWN

Christmas crib made by girl 7 years old

This is a tiny crib made  by my daughter when she was 7. Plasticine figures – the crib is one inch, both Joseph in red and the bull has lost a leg, the glass angel has lost her lower part – but we can mend that with imagination (and a little glue.)

Yesterday, when i put the crib up, I shocked noticed that the tiny Christ figure missed!!!!!! Instantly a wave of guilt washed over me: Oh no oh no oh no I was not worthy of this miniature wonder I had forfeited my chances for Heaven etc etc.

Then I remembered – I am the Holy Child of God and gave thanks that I would find that little modeled Jesus – 8mm long –

As I placed the crib, I found myself turning the crib around –

and there He was LOL

I had seen it all upside down

Just as A Course of Miracles teaches 🙂

Christmas Crib made by girl 7 years old

Here is the crib, upside down

***

Another thing, upside down:

I recently sent HILARYON STORIES ( see right menu) to a dear friend – 83 years old. He is a pastor/clergyman, and was a close friend of my brother, I sort of grew up with him very close. He also was/is tall and dark haired and beautiful and kind and…my kind of hero. He wanted to read my book  so I sent it to him – and today he phoned me and said that he reads it each evening – and “it makes me calm.”

Slowly it dawns on me – it IS guided by Love.

How scary to write it down – just so.

But it is obviously true – the reader in my last post said so too: it is healing.

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Please note that nothing written here is intended as medical advice. Readers who think that they need help with a physical or psychological condition are advised to seek a qualified opinion.

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