Miracle

The last day the fear returned with a vengeance. I prayed deeply to be free of the sticky attachment to all of it – and suddenly, it was gone.

The fear energy still is here – but it now feels like a dummy- love bursts through. It does not matter anymore. From this state of mind there is only rest.

My young friend Leni Dubel just wrote on Facebook that illnesses are beings – messengers – they come to heal. Many cancer patients know this deeply after a while – by going through it, there are shining insights. My strongest experience as a breast cancer patient 15 years ago was that I learned that my choice is everything:

I was under the radiation machine, it was the 12th day and the nipple was badly bruised – it seemed that it was rotting and drying up. I heard myself exclaim: Archangel Michael, I want your rays to go through this machine instead of the x-rays.

In that very moment, there was a great Light and I knew without doubt that my prayer had been fulfilled.

From that moment, the effects of the machine-radiation reversed, and the breast returned to it original healed state of being. I also knew that there were no more signs of cancer.

What if I got that cancer to get to that moment – KNOWING that Spirit heals all if I CHOOSE it?

It seems to me that Cancer made it possible for me to get to that moment where I took that chance to ask for help from Spirit, being willing to suspend any beliefs that the body’s illnesses and pain were more powerful that Spirit. It was a huge leap of faith for me, and it was instantly answered.

The strangest and most wonderful surprise for me is that I still feel that fear-energy strongly – but it really has nothing to do with me. I can  hold it, or just let it be, and I c an bless anybody in this fear and agony in their ability to choose love instead.

This is said with the utmost tenderness for all who says ” but I DO choose Love, and nothing happens.”

This was my experience for many years – and it brought me to explore all those parts of me who were selfhating and bitter and filled with vengeance. Carrie Triffet showed me in her last book “The Frickin Map is Upside Down” how important it is to LOVE them just as they are – no fixing – loving them WITH their hatred, with deep patience and compassion – loving them as they are. And as A Course in Miracles says – ” we cannot heal what we still have not accepted and loved.”

I don’t love the hatred. I love the part who hates.

*******

In the right menu you will find my three books. In these days, my book ” Healing Crisis – 108 ways to turn crises into possibilities” can give you creative playful means to deal with the fear and transform your regulations to it. Like this one:

54) YOUR ANCHOR

What served as an anchor for you when you were a child? What did you ”come home to” – inside yourself or outside? Maybe a favorite day-dream – do you remember the theme? Pets? Music? Nature? Reading? Walking? Making art?  Knitting? Wood-work?

Contemplating this anchor –why was it an anchor?  WHAT is it that was – and is – such a nourishment and comfort for you?

How could you use this anchor now, during the crisis?

(Source of inspiration:

Serge Kahili King, PH.D. http://www.huna.net/

and this:

108 GROUNDING / OVERWHELM[1]

Walk around in the room: point at objects and name them out loud. Do it until you start feeling that you are inside yourself. Then do a variation: point at a thing and name it something else: point at pillow and name it cheese, point at a TV and name it flower, point at the table and name it circus…the dog comes in, and you name her sunshine. Do this for at least ten minutes, and then sit down and see if you can remember some of the new names you invented.

The exercise has a wonderful ability to ground us, shove us out of rigid control-modes and let us laugh – and then, additionally, allow the subconscious to show us what it plays with. Right now.

When we are in a crisis, we are also stuck in a rigidly controlled space. When we are stuck inside it, everything we do or think is perceived through a veil of mistaken identity: I AM that which suffers. To break through this false identity gives you a new footing: suddenly you can see yourself AND the crisis – but you are no longer caught in it. Exercises like this one push you out in free air: yes, there is a crisis in your life right now – but there is also play and creativity.

And you might also enjoy re-naming your crisis, too – ! Instead of” crisis,” you might try out “popcorn.”

“I am in a deep popcorn right now.”

Did you giggle just a little?

 

[1]  Source of inspiration for this exercise: Keith Johnstone: Improvisation and the Theatre
©1979, Methuen Publishing, London

http://www.keithjohnstone.com/main.aspx?id=73

 

 

 

Lonely Girl in the Heart Comes Alive

In the usual night agony, I heard a clear and no-nonsense voice: sit up right now!

I did, and in a king of whoosh I saw that the carrier of the agony energy was my spiritual ego – the one who has followed 10 Mystery schools  and  a zillion of trainings and and and and still feels this agony/rage/anxiety/death wish/killing lust.

It’s simply the whole “false” identity, the perceived “separate one” – the one who sees herself as NOT healed and worthy and a failure – she is ALL OF THAT.

And after reading Carrie Triffet’s last book – about the importance to completely utterly love the “subterranean self” – or those parts of us we have kept as a secret…that I fully acknowledge her presence, and realize how unavoidable it is to continue AS her. From now on relating TO her – is my intention.

Now, this night, I saw that I was asked to intend to LOVE ALL OF THAT – the whole old package of “the ego though system” as the Course calls it – all those parts of me that I had attached to those thoughts and called MINE and ME.

IT was strange to get up in the morning – it felt different. I could neutrally watch “her” and all her thought patterns – but they did not attach to me. That much. I witnessed her go bananas when she lost something on the floor – for the first time did I allow her to yell and curse and it felt just fine and NEUTRAL. No judgment.

She like very much to be praised for having been such a good girl – and I enjoy doing that, loving her, truly loving her, embracing her with what Carrie calls “the rose-golden Light.”

Bow this is weird and wonderful: the above in blue attached itself here ABOVE the text that I had composed on Word and copied. When I clicked glue in, it came too – helping me realize that what I wrote today was the continuation of the blue text.  Clearly  this is archetypal matter.

Lonely Girl in the Heart

 

In the middle of the Heart

there is a fog of woe and wonder –

so little known to itself,

so dreamingly absorbed in the

layers of illusion.

But look:

it’s floating in the Sun of the heart!

I am so lonely so lonely

and I do not know of my fears –

I sense them only when I am held

but very carefully, or I’ll burst into a million little pieces

someone has stolen my words

and my hopes

but my story is still here

under the layers of centuries.

I have a right to tell the story,

but who are the listeners?

A great light and soft love surround me when I finished writing the above, and a Voice speaks:

Child, listen – I am your mother, Aurora – Queen of the Heart

And I know that She has listened to it all

 

The inner Child is doubting that Aurora is real: “Please give me a sign, Blue – let me see this name within three days!”

Next day I read in the column for TV/radio: “Arcadian radio and The Arcadian Explorer’s editorial Staff continue their trip down Mississippi on the riverboat Queen Aurora.”

*

Today is 23.March 2020 – 22 years after I wrote the above, as a part of my book “When Fear Comes Home to Love”  – and I found the child, the Heart -and -body connection was made, and my whole experience of life has changed.

Before that, earlier today,  I sensed with deep grief that I truly wanted to be grounded – but there has always been something that refuses to be inside the body. I have sensed there is a root connection through my feet and the perineum – but I wanted the feeling/energy of the dissociated child  to be fully incarnated. I prayed deeply for help with this, and suddenly I KNEW that she was HERE – inside me – and the mother of all griefs burst forth. I have never cried like THAT before – completely new quality – now embracing all that loneliness.

Do you know what more is present:

My creativity – and two years of crazy wolf hunger is GONE

JUST GONE

The constant inner strong bumping pulse in the midsection – gone

So now I knew how I feel – and how SHE felt – so I decided to play with her with words. It felt like an adorable little girl of 4 years was present, a separate being – and I communicated with her just as I would do with a girl of flesh and blood.

It was very helpful to have worked with “parts” most of my 30 years as a therapist 😊

She has been behind the wolf hunger – and the impossibility to do anything creative and playful. Now she composed an adorable story about a pig who had the moon inside her and spread moonlight all over her surroundings.

I am aware that this energy of her needs time to solidify and integrate. Of course! Bless her!

 

I feel tired in a healthy way.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Holding Others’ Energy

Here is a chapter fro my book “When Fear Comes Home to Love” – see the right menu. When I still had patients, this theme repeated itself for some weeks, so I could find it and name it. And this night I used what I learned at that time to release to my deceased mother’s soul a big bunch of trauma/accumulated repressed stuff.

I have for a week or so had a lung-illness that I thought were going to take my life. Coughing felt dangerous and raw. I asked many times “who does this belong to?” and my mother came up – and today I at last took it serious and called her soul forth, and returned the energy to her with my blessings.

Afterwards, the lungs feel very different. I still cough, but there is nothing threatening about it.

I thought I would post here one of the chapters from WFCHtL – since I experience that many of us do this as a loyalty to our  family  and loved ones – and for me, it has meant that I never really knew what was ME and what was her.

Here is the chapter:

4.1 The gout that was fear /1992

Eric is on the phone:

“I have got this terrible pain in my foot… it has swollen, it takes all of my attention. I can’t come to session today.”

“Do you want to take the session on phone?”

“I think it hurts too much, I can’t concentrate on anything but the foot.”

“What if that foot carried a painful memory. Could we use the opportunity and see what the pain is a metaphor of?”

“OK. I’ll call at 3pm.”

“Fine. Till then.”

*

“How did the pain come into being?”

“It started yesterday… it swelled, it is kind of an inflammation…. I have had this once before, and the doctor said it was gout… it is a bit embarrassing, gout is what older men may get In this moment I recognize and connect the energy to Eric’s grandfather. He died thirty years ago, but in Eric’s’ mind and soul his memory has still a strong effect, and carries with it a sense of horror that makes Eric split off a part of himself.

“Eric – when you speak about the pain in the foot, I get in touch with the energy from your grandfather. Could this pain have something to do with him?”

“I feel cold shivers down my spine!”

“Shall we look closer into this?”

“Yes. I want that.”

“Close your eyes. Allow your consciousness to sink down into your heart…your hands…let it  pass from one hand to the other…note that you choose where to put your attention, you decide, you are the authority…now shift focus – let the awareness go to a place in your body which feels good.”

“…That is my belly. It is absolutely delicious there.”

“Good – let the consciousness go there, rest there a while… let it expand. If you want, allow this delicious energy to follow your consciousness down into the pain in the foot, so the deliciousness can wrap itself safely about the pain… surrounding the pain with love, warmth, support.”

“I am doing it now.”

“And now be aware of everything you are experiencing while focusing on the painful foot: inner images, memories, colors, forms, sounds – all is relevant as long as you focus on the foot, and your intention is clear. – Oops- we forgot that one. What is your intention with this?”

“My intention is to come closer to the pain and fear within the foot to release it! – I see a bonfire… I see the yard by my mother’s childhood- home … my grandpa is lying at the one big window, he is dying… I and my cousin are peeping through the window and see him lying there, and I sense a strong and ominous fear.”

In this moment I see “something” release itself from Grandpa’s psyche; float out through the window and into Eric.

“Eric – it looks to me as something from Grandpa’s fear came into you, and that the ominous fear you are feeling is coming from him. Could this be the right time to let it go?”

Eric is crying.

“I see it! And I see that what I feared most, I took into myself and made mine – because I could more easily control it when it was inside me!”

“What kind of pay-off have you had from this?”

“It has been a way for me to protect myself.”

This I recognize from my own life: by taking over mother’s and father’s split off soul-fragments and take them into myself, I got a sense of control that seemed life-important for me at that time.

“Now I see what is behind his fear: I see a little boy, it is Grandpa as child – he is scared to death of going insane, he is franticly scared of not getting out of what feels like a prison. It looks like he is sitting inside a box. It is very narrow.”

“Do you want to go on carrying him inside any longer?”

“No – Grandpa shall have him back.”

“Anything you want to tell the boy, before you part?”

“We thank each other. I have needed him, he thanks me for letting him stay with me since Grandpa died, so he wasn’t homeless.”

Eric breathes deeply when he is being thanked by the little boy.

“Is he ready to go home to Grandpa, Eric?”

“There must come somebody to follow him, he says – there comes Grandpa! A big and loving angel is following him. I open the door to the box where he is sitting, and he runs straight to Grandpa who receives him… they go into the light now – they are melting into one…!”

Pause

“Now I am completely present. Right here. Now I am only Eric.”

Three days later he calls: the gout has almost disappeared.

Warm and happy feedback for Hilaryon Stories

Second review of Hilaryon Stories:

Hi dear one, I finished the book – and miss it dearly! I wish, I could read on every night from now on!

The sense of it all still escapes my mind, yet it left me feeling uplifted and joyful, playful and very grateful!
When I did a little grounding meditation yesterday, I decided to visit my belly from the inside. ( My belly has been like seven months pregnant for years, feeling uncomfortable. I believe, I shut it down in many ways.) So I let my awareness travel down there and found only darkness and barren land. Then, suddenly it started to transform! I saw grass growing, and streams meandering – looked like Ireland. A change again and it was a kind of Hobbitton ! Flowers, little houses and JOY! Abundance everywhere! Little people dancing, singing, eating, creating! Perhaps not so dissimilar to Hilaryon…
My life force energy was moving as a strong tingling in my lower belly! I just loved it!

Thank you so much from my Heart of Hearts!!!

If any reader of this blog may want to have look, here’s a link. My muse told me from the start it would be healing – and now I hear it is true.

here is a link to the Amazon US page. European may go to Amazon UK.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/-/e/B00DZ3EID4

 

How Hilaryon Stories happened

About 11 years ago I participated in a writer group on a Harper Collins digital platform for budding authors, called Authonomy. We wrote Flash Fiction ( max 1000 words)each week, and voted for the one we liked best.

As soon as I wrote  what is now the first chapter in Hilaryon Stories, I felt deeply hooked into the material. A door had opened, there was playfulness and freedom and JOY inside, and my voice was intimately joined with the text.

Later I wrote more chapters from Hilaryon, and recognized that I would write a novel.

I was deeply in love with my main character, Croc, who turned out to be a reincarnation of the old Egyptian Master Imhotep – physician, architect and spiritual master.

I ended what is now the first part of the book 4 years ago.  I missed the characters very much – and after 2 years I could not stand it, and asked Spirit, “what would be a great theme for part 2?” “Would you consider to explore the energies of the Old Testament  – ha, the word correction gnome wrote the old Statesman! 🙂 the feud of power and hatred between Ramses and Moses? and that old version of God, of course –

YES, I would like to do that – I wanted to find out how  that God could accept murdered babies as a way to prove his power over Ramses. The idea was to just write and TRUST that the chapters somehow would work all of this out. And the Part Two opened with Johan Sebastian Bach ( who entered the book in the middle of Part One) being thrown out in the cold by his third wife.

When I had said a clear YES, magic  and synchronicities started to happen – which made me sure I was on the right track.

 

If you click on the book in the right menu, you may find out if this is for you. No way Spirit has planned this for me, Leelah, alone 🙂

 

*Hilaryon Stories* is published today

-and I am happy and so very relieved. MY FIRST NOVEL!

Many years ago I  was part of a writer group where we wrote flash fiction – short stories, top 1000 words, each week. Each member took turns  giving the weekly prompt. The start of  the world Hilaryon – and my discovery of it – was a story I wrote to the prompt: The 12 Commandments. That’s where I first met the wonderful CROC – the wise and gentle  wizard of Hilaryon. As I wrote more stories from that Universe, it became clear that Hilaryon is a state of existence adjacent to our world Gaia – and that one ends up there if the longing is very very strong – a longing to be received in the highest expression of oneself – both as artist and as  Being.

Our group died ( we were part of an experiment by Harper Collins to find new and exciting writers, and HC found new ways and deleted our platform.) But I wrote on my own, knowing it would be a book. Wonderful synchronicities and magic moments happened frequently, giving me the necessary stamina to go on. The end of first part was written ca 6 years ago, and I was very pleased with it – but after two years pause from the Hilaryoners I was overtaken by longing, I had to go on with a part two. I asked my Muse – who later showed up to be Master Hilaryon – and he suggested I chose a theme that had to do with strong polarities. I immediately  thought about the Old Testament feud between Pharaoh Ramses( it is not known which one) and Moses. I had big trouble with that version of god who ordered babies to be killed to teach Ramses a lesson ( I did not particularly like Ramses either) – and my Muse told me this would be a very healthy endeavor to bring light into the One mind we all share – and heal my own perceptions!

Johann Sebastian Bach showed up on Hilaryon in the first part -he turned out to be one of Croc’s oldest friends from Egypt in olden days, where they both had played and sung the Sakkara-pyramid into being. It also turned out that Croc was the reincarnation of the Great Imhotep: – vizier,  chief physician and architect 5000 years ago.

Johann Sebastian became a model for anyone with great loss  and longing in his soul (  In reality, he lost ten of twenty children, both parents before he was 11 and his first wife.) Now, in Part Two, both he and Croc had children, Leaf and Mo, both 11, who were crazy about each other – and  the old hatred entered Hilaryon  through a long and spooky staff.

So I started Part Two, where Johann Sebastian Bach was in big trouble – his 3.wife had thrown him out and the weather was spooked.

I received the chapters randomly, and my Muse insisted that I had to trust and write whatever as it came – and it would find its place in the puzzle. Johann Sebastian’s music turned out to be very important, I placed musical interludes within the text, so the reader could hear the music that mirrored Bach’s emotions there and then, on YouTube.

In between were months were nothing seemed to happen,and then suddenly I could, f. ex, get an idea crochet a woolen white egg and fill it with ten minuscule babies – and place it into the text. I could not plan ANYTHING – just TRUST and TRUST some more that all would turn out perfectly.

It did. I even stitched the cover you see above. It turned out that Hilaryoners love to sew and stitch.

If you click on any book in the right menu you will get to the book’s site and read more.

If you want to buy, here is place where you don’t have to pay shipping: The Book Depository Just search for Leelah Saachi and the book that you want.

 

 

The Final Bite

Dream: Something goes on between my daughter and me, and I feel a hatred and a RAGE that is larger than the world. In the dream, there is something she prevents me me do or express, and I sense I will implode from it. I bend and bite her in her hip- and as I see it now, I bite right into her very skeleton – her bone-structure.

Awake, I know that M is just a projection of my own anger at my parents – that I internalized – and that this judged and repressed energy went right into my bone structure and may well be the innermost cause of  “my” Osteoporosis,

This came after the second time I have done the bladder/kidney/water-poses in Donna Eden and Lauren Walker’s online course *** The first time my body screamed with pain, but  I  am determined to do this in a non-harmful way. The second time it went much better – I must do it in the morning and not evening, I notice, the body is not so sluggish then.

I talked with the Leelah –part who received all that anger and hatred and acknowledged that it would have been dangerous to express it when small- and I admitted that she/ my child self/ had received that bite. For a long time I was WITH her, embracing her, letting her express and rant. I truly SAW the power of denied and judged emotions, and the huge work the Triple Warmer does do keep us “safe.”

I have worked since 1988 in my private practice as an Expressive Arts Therapist ( background as an artist), and my patients have all had the same intensely forbidden and repressed anger. It has been a gradual unraveling through 31 years to get to the point of clarity this late night.

Now there is still work to be done – owning the energy instead of the old habit of pushing it back, allowing it to move with the structures given me in this course. The great healing is, that NOW the judgment of it has gone – not me or mine anymore, just neutral energy that can be given outlets and being played with and expressed the way I love to do.

Thank you Donna and Lauren from all my heart. Thank myself for hanging in there for all these years, vowing to heal myself this life, thank you to all my patients to also hung in there for years until our common patterns were lovingly given space and form – in storytelling, movement, dance, music, painting and drawing. Through it all, Love was present and showed us that we could trust the process, and that play and forgiveness was the main ingredients in our journeys.

After having worked in my practice for 4 years, I started to see a common thread in all my patients – and I found 10 archetypes of fear. I started to explore the very essence of them, and found out what healed our relationship to these fear-and-violence-forces in us all – and finding what healed them. After 25 years worked, I wrote two books about our work – one of the gradual process of working through the darkest forces, giving them space ( yoga was always a modality that I loved) and one very playful one which uses creativity and play – and LOVE –  to deal with crises and transform them into possibilities.

The two books are placed in the right menu. My Amazon pages has many reviews  for you to read if you are interested in what others found helpful.

***If interested in the Course, google “EnergyMedicineYoga with Donna Eden and Lauren Walker” and you will find links and videos.

 

 

For anyone with dissociation and fragmentation

I had quite a miracle happening to me this morning –
 
The last 40 years or so I have been haunted by what doctors have seen on x-rays as a malignant mass in the lungs on the right side – but not malignant enough to operate – since I still can breathe enough to live 🙂 I am a healer and teacher and artist and I have vowed to do my best to free my bodymind from the effects of grave sexual abuse from I was very small and until ca 20 years old. I know I have used a muscle panzer to prevent myself to breathe, since the breath would have put me in contact with memories that would have been devastating for my bodymind and sanity – before NOW.
 
This morning – I am 74 years old now -I at last had arrived at the point where that part of me who had made the decision to stop breathing, now was willing to LISTEN to me. And what has helped me immensely to come to this point, is the old teaching about the five Elements ( I am Earth.) I have a long running with Yoga in many forms – what had such a miraculous effect on me now was the whole thing coming together: the SOUNDS and the MOVEMENTS and the intent and the sacredness of it all.
 
As an artist and an expressive Arts Therapist, I teach the processes that has helped me the most – dancing/moving the energies while holding an intention, and a willingness to let go of control and ask for help from the Soul/Self instead. The 5-element process brought me back to what must have been many lifetimes practicing the old old structures – in a way that makes it all one cohesive surrender-love-dance.
 
My little girl understood that she had to accept what had happened in order to be able to let it go – I had at last succeeded breaching the abyss of isolation. It is my firm belief that it was the YOGI SOUNDS that opened the space for her to accept my presence – and for her lungs to start accepting air into them more fully.
 
So we breathed and sounded into that old isolated space, and suddenly the ice melted – and the most horrendous burning pain flowed through the right upper part of my body. I saw how immensely my muscles have worked in creating that panser – and how it hurt to let freedom into those muscles now. – I allowed and embraced the hurt, and suddenly it were gone.
 
And I feel present
 
How fortunate we are, we who live NOW and have decided to become free – then the right teachers pop up everywhere. Thank you Lauren and Donna and bless your work, I am so grateful

The Inner Attacker

I have for some years now been guided to work/play through old patterns of self-attack in the mind, that is mirrored in f.ex cataracts. I was in terror of those 2 cataract-operations but was clearly guided to have them, and through them I was led to deep and dark places that I believe i could have seen had it not been for these operations. I walked through those traumas while the doctor operated, and shared them loud, he listened deeply and i came out of it tremendously grateful. And he beamed with joy too!

Now I recently had an urinary infection. It bled. I am 74. I gave a urine test to my doctor, she said “you got full pot” and told me I ***had to*** take antibiotics.

So I did – but I asked archangel Michael’s rays to go into those pills. The bleeding stopped instantly – but my right eye started to bleed instead.

And I heard: “it s OK to take the antibiotics- but the bleeding / the inner alarm/ will show up again until you are willing to practice with full intention.And YOU have chose to come to this point of no return, Leelah.”

I asked inside what this wanted to tell me, and I heard “old self attack.” I have had so many attacks from “outside” this life – really obnoxious ones – and have known that they have their origin in my thinking. This time I felt/sensed the energy of hatred and attack and wanting to kill in the left brain ( that governs the right eye.)

This is it, folk. No doctor for this eye – I – only the divine Self.

I was told to post this here – because we as humans all have this pattern of self attack – otherwise we would not be here. I invite you to play with me here: to set a clear intention of forgiving ourselves for these thoughts, these perceptions – and so sit with it in the way you are guided to: my way is embracing my wrong minded age old choice, forgiving it completely, embracing it, blessing the wound inside my mind and heart in whatever way it has manifested for me, and important: forgiving all the ways I have judged and condemned myself for being so “worthy of attack and punishment.”

There is a place in most of us that think it is simply “wrong” and deserves punishment. I have seen this part in all my art therapy patients/clients/students through 30 years, and gathered our healing paths and case stories in the books in the right menu: 25 years of experiences how God plays with us and smiles us through it all.

For now, I thank those who feel invited to participate in this glorious celebration of Who we are – when we willingly receive our inner attacker and bless him and forgive ourself for creating this pattern – this belief in separation, sin, fear and guilt.

I was also asked to ask personally for help – which I really need to learn if you feel so guided, I am sitting here meditating. I want this healed through the heart and not antibiotics this time.

With great love to all my readers here –

Blessings and big thanks for reading this-

I would love comments!

Resisting Love

Anybody who has been abused/molested or has been on the perpetrator side,this is for you. You may just be helped a lot by “When Fear Comes Hoe to Love” in the right menu.

Last night in bed, I wanted to link up with Love again – realizing this is a habit that needs reinforcing to build new neural pathways. Big hiccupping started in the solar plexus, and I saw an intense dark resistance there: I will NOT have any connection with Light!

“What do you need?” I asked – remembering my old work with the demonic 25 years ago. I told it “ I am here for you, I am not going anywhere..”

At once I saw the image of myself in the old garden four years old, that I describe in the Chapter BIRD in my book “When Fear Comes Home to Love.” BIRD is the archetype of the one who sees her SOLE worth as being there for everybody else – and not herself, whom she judges wrong and guilty.

It is the archetype that resists the light – as it is anchored and springs from the very belief that it is the opposite of love, and so would be annihilated by it.

I hold the child who identified with the archetype: now: I got you! This is just a memory – what you feel are just coming from your conviction that you are NOT what you are: Pure Light made in God’s Image. And when you put an “I” behind those thoughts, they become your identity.

I see the energy gestalt squirming and fighting, and ask my beloved female illumines Quan Yin, Aurora, Shekinah and Anna to stand around what I called me, and I ask the Legions Of Light to stand at the very entrance of the Solar Plexus Chakra in the spine – and from there shine their light through the Solar Plexus out of the navel. They tell me it will take some time, and that I need to remember to breathe it all out when I notice the discomfort.

The little one that I split off completely sits on my lap and witnesses it, no longer identified with it – like waking up from a thousand years old nightmare

 

 

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Please note that nothing written here is intended as medical advice. Readers who think that they need help with a physical or psychological condition are advised to seek a qualified opinion.

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